Feeling so alone

[Lonely1006]

Hi I’m in my 40s, 3 kids and married. I have no diagnosis but I feel like I’ve come to a fork in the road and I need to face this or it’ll ruin me. I seem to swing from feeling super elated and so happy with life to just pure darkness. Right now I’m in the darkness. I’m also a nurse and I am totally drained. I’m so sick of listening to everyone’s else’s issues. The world right now just doesn’t seem to be a place I want to be in. I don’t find any joy on anything. I dread waking each day. I’ve tried to talk to my husband who ends up making it about him and tells me all I do is complain. I feel so alone and so down. I feel ashamed to feel like this. I’m usually the social one, the bubbly person. People don’t know the real me. And yet the ones who I try and be vulnerable with just disregard me.
feeling so lost and alone

[KitesR]

Hi there Lonely,

I don't know what the answer is, just wanted to let you know that you are not alone, I just heard you and I know plenty of others here will hear you too.

Regards,

Kites

[Ggrand]

Hello Dear Lonely1006..

A very warm and caring welcome to these forums..,

Firstly I just want to thank you for the incredible job that you and the other nurses do....

It would be hard to constantly listen to other people’s issues, when you are struggling so much mentally....

Im wondering if you have some professional people caring for your mental health..if not do you think you might think about doing so?

I think that people who haven’t been through mental issues find it hard to understand and they start thinking it was them who caused these issues..so they turn it around to and it starts to be about them...

Please dear Lonely,,,,don’t ever be ashamed of how your feeling...you have nothing to be ashamed of....Mental fatigue and illness can strike anyone at anytime...Please be gentle on yourself and give yourself some self care in these hard times..

Talk here anytime that you feel up to it..,,we are all here for you with our care and support..

My kindest thoughts precious lady..

Grandy..

[Isabella_]

Hi there,

Thank you for opening up to us. As Ggrand said.. words can't really capture the value of the work you do everyday.. The amount compassion and selflessness required of you is immense, and on top of that being a mum and a wife! You are more than deserving of self care when you're constantly giving to others, because of course it can weigh heavily on you. It hurts to hear that with all that's expected of you, you're told by your husband that all you do is complain, that's incredibly hurtful and unfair. If the people in your life can't recognise the importance and validity of your mental health and what you're going through, then please know you can trust this community here to always recognise that.

It's amazing that you've recognised that it's important to face this, no one should be expected to wake everyday and try to push it aside or ignore it, so that's really amazing on your part. Have you considered contacting your GP about how you've been feeling? What are your thoughts/feelings around taking that step?

It can be daunting to ask for help from a professional, it's never the easiest experience. But I think the short moments of discomfort and vulnerability vastly outweigh the benefit of therapy and feeling better again.

Again, I want to thank you for reaching out on here despite the fact that your vulnerability wasn't acknowledged by your husband, you're a strong person and deserving of love, support and happiness.

Take care, I'd love to hear from you.

[Sophie_M]

Hi Lonely1006, 

Welcome to the forums and thank you for posting and sharing your story with us. As you can see from the wonderful comments, this is a safe and understanding community of which you are an important part. It can be incredibly difficult to share our stories, thank you for having the courage to seek support. You never know who will read this post and feel less alone in their own experience. 

We want to make sure you know that we are here for you if you ever need us. You are not alone and you don't have to do this on your own. You can call us on 1300 22 4636 anytime to talk to an expert. They can help you process these feelings and listen without ever judging you. You can also call our friends at Lifeline on 13 11 14 who are just as kind and caring. 

We can hear that it is hard to talk to your partner, this can be common but it is also really difficult. This forum is a place for you to feel heard and for you to talk to people who understand the struggles you are facing. Thank you for sharing with us and for trusting this space. Please feel free to come back and update us on how things are going for you, if you feel comfortable.

Kind regards, 

Sophie M

[Petal22]

Hi Lonely1006,

Wellcome to our forums!

Sorry you have been feeling this way…..

I understand what you are saying, I suffered with a mental health condition Severe anxiety OCD I have now recovered thanks to professional help……. I decided to turn around and face what I was experiencing head on……. Instead of running from it……… it was the best thing I ever did……. Life on the other side of it is amazing…….. there is hope that you too can recover from what you are going through with the correct help……

When I was going through my condition I felt like I was living in an internal hell but I’m now free…… living in the light you can too…..

im sorry your husband has responded to you the way he has, I think people who have never experienced mental health don’t understand what it is like… we can only hope that they try to understand us with no judgment…..and be supportive..

You can’t help what you are going through it just happens sometimes due to no fault of our own….

My recovery started from seeing my gp we did a mental health together this then enabled me to see a clinical psychologist…… my gp also put me on a antidepressant to help manage my anxiety….. I highly recommend you see your gp …. Let them know how you are feeling……. There is help available you can recover from the way you are feeling it’s temporary……

We are all here on this forum to help you in any way we can….

Here to chat

[jaz28]

Hi love,

I am sorry you feel this way. I just want you to know that you're not alone and that there is help.

Have you considered therapy? It could be a great start to get in touch with a GP and see if you can get a referral to a psychologist or therapist.

Having been a patient in hospital a few times, I am so thankful for nurses like you who put in hard work and deal with all of our problems. I just wanted to say that you guys are absolute angels, and I have high respect for anyone pursuing nursing and that you are underrated as heck!

It is scary to ask for help but things can get better if you do. Don't hesitate to reach out.

Stay strong,

Jas.

[Learn to Fly]

Hey Lovely,

Thank you for putting a lot of trust in us here and reaching out. Poor thing you sound absolutely exhausted. Being a nurse is never an easy job and these days with Covid I imagine it can be extremely difficult.

I know this is a part of your job to listen to others but this can be so daunting when you are so emotionally and physically drained.

How would you feel about telling us more what goes through your mind or heart because everyone here is to listen to you (for a change) and try to help. There is no judgment, no pressure, no limits. Even if you don’t hear anything amazing from anybody, just venting your frustration might help.

Try to pick a five minutes here, a fifteen minutes there and use them just for yourself. You sound like you could do with some “me” time.

[mocha delight]

Hi lonely006 I was so up and down pre antidepressants and I’ve been on them since the 17th of September last year but no official diagnosis yet but my psychologist has casually mentioned to me that I have depression (clinical depression), social anxiety and general anxiety. But I’m here for you ok if you ever need to chat ok plus I’m a great listener 🤗.