Facing my own stigma

[Chaucer]

Hello all. I am totally lost in my own head. It's so noisey all the time. I recently had a few emotional shocks and it's trigger something in my head I can't understand. The past month I've been waking up so angry. This angry eventually turns to tears when I know I'm somewhere no one can hear me cry. I don't discuss my emotions, I don't cry in front of ppl. I never have nor do I ever want to. I can't shake this anger but at the same time it's sadness. ive deal with ppl suffering from mental health conditions my whole working life. I've never understood it and I certainly never thought I would experience it. I'm in a job I don't feel I can seek professional help, even tho it's all they ever go on about, as I know how that will look (despite what they say). I know what will happen to my job role too, I won't be allowed to do it. I have no issues with my work. I don't feel I have ptsd at all regarding that. I can't put my finger on what it is. Work distracts me, but I dread being alone in my own throughts when I go home. My partner's opinions on mental health are so strong I can't talk to him he would not understand. I think he just thinks I'm in a mood with him all the time. how can I shake this constant anger and sadness without seeking professional help? Could it just be a phase because of recent events?

[baet123]

Hey Chaucer,

Welcome to beyond blue and thanks for sharing your situation with us. You will find that these forums are a loving, caring and non-judgmental platform where you may post as much or as little as you like. People are here to support each other and assist each other on their unique journeys.

I think its amazing that you have the courage to post and share your situation with us. This is extremely hard to do and it is an important first step in your journey. I can tell you are extremely brave, strong, resilient and intelligent and these are amazing qualities you possess and you should be extremely proud.

Sorry to hear that your struggling at present. What your experiencing is extremely normal so please don't be to hard on yourself. I can tell that you want to get better and things will get better.

Is there anything that has happened or changed recently that has contributed to you feeling this way? Unfortunately, mental health conditions don't discriminate. May I ask why you feel that you cannot seek professional help? If they go on about it often, I am sure that if they knew you were struggling, they would absolutely recommend you receive assistance. Ultimately, your health is more important than your work and you deserve to feel happy and live the life you wish to live without feeling angry and lost all the time.

You mention you are alone at home. Do you have a support network available and have you ever sought professional help from your GP or any other health professional? I believe you would greatly benefit from professional treatment/intervention. When your feelings and emotions are detrimental to your overall quality of life and emotional well-being, it is time for professional intervention. You would not have to disclose this information to your employer unless your condition has the potential to endanger your safety or that of your colleagues.

This may sound harsh but your partner should understand and take your concerns seriously. If he believes you are just in "one of those moods" then you may want to re-evaluate your relationship because your partner should always take your concerns seriously and your emotional well-being should be a major priority of his.

If your anger/sadness is impacting on your quality of life which it seems like it is should be assessed and evaluated by a professional as early intervention and treatment is important before it spirals out of control.

Hope this helped and I hope you feel better this week.

Nick.

[Bellybell]

Hi chaucer

What you're feeling is completely normal. Anger is a common reaction to highly emotional situations. I felt the same way recently and have spoken to my doctor about it who had suggested counselling for trauma/PTSD.

Feeling angry and sad when you normally don't feel that way can be scary and confusing, but you're not alone 😊

Maybe some counselling would help? It's confidential and sometimes all people need that extra bit of support and there's no shame in doing so.

II don't know if this post helps at all, but I'll send some white light and positive energies your way

[TheRealMel]

Hey, sorry you’re having a rough time. It’s tough when you’re keeping your own counsel, totally get the work and partner concerns. I keep to myself too. Hope it passes soon and you feel better. Try to look after yourself a little extra while you feel this way even just little things like water and a walk, be kind to yourself too. You’re going to be ok in time. Hope this helps 🙂

[geoff]

Hello Chaucer, I hope you are still checking your thread.

From what I read in your post is that you are in authority, and by that I mean you see patients every day for their own issues, and that's why it's difficult for your partner to understand.

I maybe wrong so please let me know.

Take care.

Geoff.