(Deep Breath) OK. Here I Go...

[SydneyCider]

Hi there, My name is Sydney and I suffer from lifelong "chemical" depression, diagnosed 25+ years ago. I need help and support. Can someone tell me the best way to find support here? I would like to talk to somebody, but I don't know how to start.

Coming onto a forum like this scares me because understanding the forum and where to go seems like one more problem I don't have the strength to solve.

I get overwhelmed so easily these days. I feel like I am walking into a very large gathering where I don't know anybody. I believe that there are people here I can talk to but I don't know where to start.

[Birdy77]

Hello Sydney,

You've started perfectly! Welcome.

You have started your own thread where people can pop in and read your intro, that's a great start. You can use this space to talk about anything, your feelings, experiences, fears, whatever you like. People can reply and chat to you here.

You can also browse the different sections of the forums and join in on other discussions, whatever attracts your attention or feels relevant to you.

It won't take long to find your way around.

We will listen to you, support you and point you in the right direction if needed.

So glad you took that deep breath and pressed "post" 😊

🌻birdy

[SydneyCider]

Thank you for that birdy.

A little bit about why I am here now. I have suffered depression all my life but it wasn't diagnosed until my late 20s. I have coped with it (before and after the diagnosis) but never more that that.

Now I find myself in a situation where I am not coping anymore. The exhaustion and stress that I feel everyday have become a barrier to achieving anything on a day to day basis beyond just getting by. If I am not asleep (I sleep alot) I am procrastinating like crazy...

However there are things coming up in my life and I need to get on top of my depression (even if its just back to the coping stage) before they arrive.

I was off my medication for a while, partially because my GP is difficult to see so I procrastinate about making and appointment and partially because I felt like being off them didn't make much difference. I am now back on the meds and the residual build up should be in place in a few days. I am still concerned that they are not having the impact they used.

It seems like depression is a huge fall of rocks blocking my path and that they can be moved out of the way but I don't know which rock to move first.

[Quercus]

Hi Sydney and welcome,

Birdy said it all really... It takes guts to press post. I'm glad you did too.

You mentioned you are overwhelmed and you sound quite exhausted so I had to wonder do you feel you might need more immediate support too? Have you thought about using the helplines as well as the forums?

The helplines give you immediate support. Many have the option of a chat via the internet if making a phonecall is beyond you right now. If you scroll down the details are in red at the bottom of the screen.

You will find support here too but it does take a little time and effort on your part ok. You've taken the first step by posting. The next is to return 😊. Do you feel like telling us a little more about your depression and your experience? Maybe with more information we can point you towards threads that you might find helpful to join in.

These forums are very gentle. It might feel hard to join in on threads that interest you but all of us here have been in the same position once. Writing here until you feel safe to branch out is ok too.

I'll stop waffling now. So Sydney what do you need to talk about?

Nat

[SydneyCider]

Thanks for that Nat.

I did indeed ring the BB 24 hour line after my initial post. Obviously, the lovely lady I spoke to could offer limited help but she did suggest I take a short walk and look at the trees :-). I did take indeed take the walk with my daughter. We talked about a school project she is working on and helped out a snail we saw on the way :-).

I have set myself one task to do today and I came back ready to do that. In fact, I was able to complete it. Something I didn't think was going to happen when I woke up this morning.

But I still have this overwhelming sense of weight on me that reduces me to inactivity.

Thanks for pointing out the links at the bottom of the page. I had seen them but didn't notice that the Online forums were 24/7. I will head over there now.

[Birdy77]

Hello Sydney,

I liked reading about your walk and helping the snail on his journey 😊.

I understand that overwhelming lack of motivation, it's such a pain because there are things to be done! I get it.

Do you feel like the medicine is starting to kick in?

Have you managed to have a little look around the forums at all? Off the top of my head, you might be interested in reading through "DEPRESSION: Fight it or embrace it?" Posted by Doolhoff.

How are you feeling today?

🌻birdy