Cant shake the dog

[parky001]

Hello.

I have suffered with depression for 16 years now. Have started on low dose medication and went all the way up to a high dose. Now 15 months no drugs. Thats wasnt easy.

I have suffered dizziness for 4 years, cried nearly everyday, seen every doctor, psych, counseling, hypnosis and naturopathic services known to man. I get up and go to work everyday and just push myself to get thru the day.

I have given up alcohol, coffee, chocalate, sugar and try and to excercise when i can.

What more can one do to try and free yourself from this disease?

Has anybody actually broken the shackles of this disease.

[blondguy]

Hello Parky001

I understand you about the awful symptoms of depression....'It' can be a dark place to be in. I have had the same set of symptoms that started out with acute anxiety attacks that developed into depression....ugh!

The forums are a safe and non judgemental place for you to post. Your privacy and well being are paramount

Can I ask why you decided to come off your medication? ...And yes...that would have taken some serious willpower Parky. I have been on AD's for 22 years (small dose SSRI) and it has provided me with a solid platform so I could heal combined with the counseling required

You are very proactive with your health by taking all the necessary steps to try to find some peace in your life and good on you too! So we can provide more effective support and help loosen those shackles.....how frequently did you have counseling/therapy?

you are not alone with the pain and anguish you are going through

my kind thoughts

Paul

[therising]

Hi parky001

Your efforts are admirable (putting it mildly). Incredible more like it!!!

Myself, I'd dealt with the challenges of depression for about 15 years. Group therapy was what freed me, after trying a variety of meds and one on one therapy. I think it was about the 'relating' aspect. In the group, I came to relate to certain traits as being the traits of depression and not me. You know that long list of traits: Lethargy, hopelessness, anger, sadness, the almost obsessive need for control and so on. I believe, for the 1st time, I saw depression as being something separate from me, like some nasty little creature perched upon my shoulder for all those years (the traits belonged to it). Once I saw it as being something separate from me, this helped me pinpoint when and how it first came to manifest in my life. This is a super condensed nutshell version of how the transformation came about. But, yes, group therapy was my thing.

Different things will work for different people. It reminds me a little of one of those scenes from a movie: Some person obtains a set of keys on a huge ring. There are dozens of keys but only one will fit the lock when it comes to getting out of that prison cell. Key after key is tried until 'click' they're finally free. In reality, the keys will come in the form of 'opportunities'. Like with the keys, you've trialed many yet there are still more on the ring.

Some opportunities will be outside the square. That group therapy I mentioned was actually post natal depression related. With my depression beginning around the age of 20, I'd just had my 2nd child at 35 when life changed so dramatically. This therapy was so far outside my comfort zone, I can't even begin to describe the effort it took just to show up for the 1st session. But, there you go, glad I did. Credit to my mum for pushing me to go.

Keep trying the keys/opportunities, no matter how unusual they look. It may be the most unlikely one that can present you with that moment, when that 'click' happens.The next opportunity could show up tomorrow. It all becomes a matter of recognising it.

Take care

[parky001]

Hello. Thanks for response.

I decided to get of the tablets as i believed they weren't helping me and the doses were just getting increased and not making me feel any better. When i was on a huge dose, i was so depressed that i was admitted twice into a clinic. I was crying thinking about a sad song or at the sight of anything slighty sad.

I thought this is doing nothing.

I was dizzy, depressed, nauseous and all over the place. So i thought lets see what i can manage. 1 year of hell. I am now able to deal with things differently as i know if i get dizzy, its my stress levels or not enough sleep. I can deal with these better. I just cant stop feeling like crap most days. No matter what i do.

Really want to speak to somebody that actually beat it.