Brief Introduction

[not_james_bond]

Hi Everyone,

Just joined Beyond Blue and the forum. Not too sure what to expect.

Just in brief:

Living in Brisbane and having difficulty sleeping due to anxiety. I like to exercise (finding it hard to lose weight), garden (when motivated) and spend time with my family (missing them due to them living in NSW).

Moved to QLD a few years ago and since then been through a second divorce and still going through court proceedings to be able to spend time with my third son. Good things have happened as well but the scales to feel rather imbalanced at the moment.

Friends are hard to some by. I have always made friends easy no matter where I moved and lived but it seems as though as soon as I turned 40 it has been really difficult.

Again, not sure what to expect but just putting myself out there. Maybe just opening up about a few things and getting some feedback is enough.

Thank you

[HappyHelper88]

Hello not_james_bond Thank You for your post and welcome

Sounds like you have a lot going on its very hard to be isolated from family for so long excercise and other hobbies can definitely help
Sorry to hear about your divorce and i hope you get to spend time with your son
Maybe the scales feel unbalanced now but good things will come your way soon just keeping going
I think covid would have definitely inpacted making friends but when things ease it will be easier to make friends through sport and other hobbies

Thankyou for putting yourself out there and opening up
It seems like you have a lot going on and i think you could benefit from talking things through with someone
If you want to talk this through with a Beyond Blue counsellor, we’re on 1300 22 4636 or you can reach us on webchat here. It can really help to talk things like this through. Lockdown has been incredibly difficult on everyone, Please remember to reach out whenever you need to.

Hope this helps

[not_james_bond]

Good morning HappyHelper88,

Thank you for your response.

I am currently seeing a psychologist, which doesn't feel as though there has been much progress, but I understand that it can take time for change to happen.

Covid has been a real challenge for many of us. Something we could have never imagined having to go through.

I am hoping that contributing to a forum such as this one will help me speak out about my experiences and have the chance to connect with people who may be going through similar experiences. A feeling of not being alone.

Thanks again for the response.

Hope you are having a great week.

[Not_Batman]

Hello Not_James_Bond.

Isn't it nice to take the name of something we aren't. I can tell you that as Not_Batman, i am certainly no billionaire, playboy, entrepreneur, and most definitely no super hero, but from borrowing the name, is there something in there that we aspire to be?!? perhaps international action hero, or even just strong and determined. maybe one day we can become the Not_Not_[alter ego]

Welcome to the forum anyway. like you, I joined to not be alone in what i was feeling. I knew there were people who would listen and offer advice, and so in turn i offer what i have learned to the next. im sure you will be able to do the same.

seeing a psychologist is a good step, it has helped me, and i do go back from time to time if i need readjustment (kind of like a chiropractor or physio for the mind).

I know that COVID is really challenging for us all, some have it far worse than others, but it affects differently. My advice is to keep in contact with your family by whatever means possible. could be email, text message, chat, video link. I haven't been within 100km of my sisters or their families for almost 2 years, but we still keep in touch, and even play pub trivia over video link.

don't be afraid to ask questions, because you may find someone here has the answers, or at least some way of helping you find the answers.

Not_Batman

[not_james_bond]

Good morning Not_Batman,

Thank you for taking the time to write.

I find that seeing the psychologist has been a little challenging. Sort of like starting a diet. Always telling myself to start on Monday, get side tracked easily, find an excuse to not continue etc, etc. But this time I am determined to stick with it for at least a year. It was a little disheartening when I saw one at the beginning of the year and his words were 'I'm sorry but there's no way I can help you.' You could imagine how thrown back I was and it really took me a lot to put myself out there to someone new. It is difficult, going to someone and talking about myself so much. I always feel as though I am just complaining and giving too much of myself away. Have to be honest in saying, so far, I don't feel as though it has made much of a difference. I have been faced with more challenges than relief; but I will stick it through to the end of the year at least.

Keeping in touch over video chat, phone call and playstation has been the corner stone of our families relationship for the last 21 months. I did have the opportunity to see them once. I know this will eventually pass but the goal posts seem to be getting moved further and further away.

I really appreciate your response here! Time is very precious for us all and it means a lot to know people are taking the time out to respond here.

Hope you have a great day!

[Not_Batman]

Greetings not_mr bond 🙂

To me its not a good sign if a psych or doctor says that they cant help you…i mean isnt that why they do what they do?

sadly doctors around these parts dont stick around for long, maybe 18 months, so every time i go for a refill or a checkup i have to explain the same story. And psychologists are a rarity too. Fortunately i was able to click with my psych…not sure what i would have done other than travel 100+ km each week for a 30min session.

stick with what you need to do. Create some regimen or daily ritual that brings some kind of order and clarity to an otherwise scrambled mind.
it does take time, patience, and a lot of will power.

i read anthony kiedis’ autobiography, scar tissue, and he refers to his repeated addiction and sobriety as something he didnt take seriously. Like it was a bandaid, and once he felt better he went back to his old ways, until he eventually did take it seriously after years and years.

anyway, i hope you are feeling better.

Not_Batman