Big feels, lonely, insignificant, unseen, unheard, unimportant and invisible.
I am feeling all the big feels of loneliness, insignificance, unseen, unheard, unimportant and invisible. That’s just the surface really. I have a partner and who is oblivious to how I am feeling. He is not the type of person to be sensitive to many situations. Most nights of the week, too much alcohol has been consumed by him, although I am grateful that he is generally a happy drunk unlike my first husband. My life is boring and consists of sitting at home and scrolling social media and watching tv. I have a spinal problem that was diagnosed in the last year that has made exercise difficult and painful at times. I also have spinal stenosis where the nerves are pinched and I spend a lot of time lying down as that is less pressure on my back. Sometimes while I’m walking my back gives way. There is no real chance of fixing my back, only managing it and the pain. I do need to lose weight which would help, but thats not easy either. I don’t have any friends except for an older lady who is lovely and I visit her every couple of months and it’s usually because she has phoned me and she needs my help with her computer or phone. I don’t work but I used to have a really great job ( 10 years ago) and was the frontline face of the organisation and since meeting my husband and moving to be with him I seem to have lost my way. I don’t have any purpose. My husband comes home from work and tells me everything and I mean everything he did at work, including all the conversations he had with the team in his department. I switch off sometimes. I feel like I know everything about them. He comes home and switches on his laptop and continues to work. The days are gloomy and worse now winter is here in Vic.
This is just a part of the big picture. I just feel so blahhh, teary, lonely and just sad.
nice to meet you.
I’m very interested in all things astronomy, that’s where my interesting name comes from.
Im glad you get me. I wish I had some work or something I could do from home. I too need motivation to kick in. I did take the dog for a walk this week, it was a shock to my back as I had nowhere to sit down.
roll on spring 🌼