Hi Matt666
I can hear how tired and how exhausted you are and I am so very sorry that the joy in life is not present for you at the moment. I have such huge respect for you, being a carer I can only imagine is so very overwhelming and so very hard, both physically and emotionally, you are a real credit to both your wife and your children and you should feel so very proud of what you are doing, I am sorry that you are being made to feel like perhaps it is not enough.
I can understand totally the feeling of resentment, when you have put your life on hold essentially to care for your wife and she is sitting back and enjoying it completely, it must be very hard to watch.
I am so glad you have come here to get some support and some comfort and to know that you are an amazing human to be caring for your wife, I just hope you can take some time to care for you too..whether that is a coffee with a friend or even a movie or some time away from the house so that you can do something that is enjoyable to you, so that you can recharge and have some fun, it is so very important..we cannot drink from an empty cup Matt666, I am sure you have heard that saying before. You really are only young at 48 and you have so much living to do so you need to have some time to do the things for you and not feel guilty or be made to feel guilty.
Please share as much as you would like to here, even if you think it is as much as "war and peace"..I am here to read it and to help you through this time.
I think a chat with your boys too could be a good start as some validation from them that you are doing enough for them might help with the guilt that you are feeling there, tell them that you are worried you are failing them and let them tell you if you need to do more or even that you are doing more than enough. I think the conversation will be good for you all, just a thought there.
Huge hugs to you Matt666, I think you are wonderful.
Sarah
