Alone at 57...

[HeyMoe]

Hi. I'm 57. Married for 25 years. Two adult boys. Had a job since I was 20... except for being unemployed for eighteen months during COVID, after being made redundant from my job of 31 years.

Always had trouble keeping friends. From high school onwards. It was a few years before the redundancy I realised all the 'friends' I had made really weren't. After being let go, suddenly there was radio silence. No returned calls, no replies to emails. Looking back, it had always been like that, using work to make acquaintances.  I was an alcoholic for 10 years, it allowed me to forget. I don't drink anymore, it's been nearly five years. But the sadness and loneliness gets to me now. Unbearable at times. Sometimes I think I've had enough. When you don't have family you're close to, when your wife can't help, you wallow in your own mind. How do I change this lonely life? 

[Nerna]

Hello dear... Loneliness is in all of us, and yet, you are not alone in this.

Do not give up. This is something each of us lives with, and yet, life, can still be beautiful.

Find one thing. Anything. Volunteer at a charity event. Go for walks to the park, to the ocean. Pat the local dogs as they walk past. Tend to your garden. Have a chat with your local supermarket worker. Start a hobby. Go fishing, and learn from those who fish regularly.

Return to the community... I know its been hard, but if you stay open, you may find friends or have warm conversations in the most unlikely places.

[Allira]

Don't give up, I know it's hard. And well done on your sobriety, be proud of yourself and your strength. I agree with Nerna, find something outside of your home that you enjoy. Going for a walk or doing something you enjoy is important to bring the smile back on your face. 

For me, I like to ask the local neighbors if I could walk their dog, they are always appreciative, and it is a great way to walk by and say hello to other people walking their dogs. 

Community connection is a great way to meet new people, perhaps a local sports group could be something you could try. I did not know I would love pickleball, until I took a walk past the local sports centre to watch them play. Immediately I was welcomed and asked to grab a bat and have a social game, that was 3 months ago. It is what gets me out of the house 2 days per week, and I have met some lovely local people. Is there a sport you used to love to play or watch?