Well I don’t know where to start, but this story feels like a deeply hopeless and grim one. I am a 35 year old male who was diagnosed with anxiety at age 23, and have been suffering with depression since my late years of high school after severe daily bullying which lasted for the entirety of my schooling years (resulting in me leaving school during year 11) which has progressively gotten worse over the years to the point where I have absolutely no friends left, I do not have any social life at all, I haven’t worked a full time job since that age of 23, I rarely leave the house. I have never lived anywhere else besides with my parents because I simply can’t afford to, it drives me crazy living at home and I know that it is detrimental to my mental health and putting a strain on my relationship with my parents. I struggle to keep up with regular hygiene such as showering and brushing my teeth which I often only do every 1-2 weeks because I feel like I don’t have the energy for it most of the time. I just feel a complete lack of any sort of motivation or desire to help myself even though I am stuck in a pit of despair, loneliness, emptiness, lack of purpose, lack of connection, a desire for connection but no desire to leave the house to do anything about finding it after feeling like I’ve spoken to many psychologists and psychiatrists and haven’t gotten anywhere. high dose antidepressant medication. I feel hopeless, I feel at a dead end in life, with no options left. The smarter part of my brain knows that there is always options, however I just can’t seem to get myself to help myself. I am not a functioning adult or member of society by any means, this isn’t how I want my life to end. I am terrified of my declining health, mentally and physically, and although there aren’t any major red flags health wise yet I fear that due to my extreme depression and lack of physical activity/poor hygiene that I will eventually become sick/ill living the life I am living in this home. If I didn’t have my parents I don’t know how I would even function in society, if I would be able to keep myself in a stable home/employed or if I would one day end up homeless. I realise this has been a very long opening post but I don’t know where else to put any of this.
