A question for our new members (and regulars too 😊).

[Quercus]

Hi everyone,

I've been thinking lately about inclusion on the forums and wondering...

What it is like to be a newbie on the forums?

Anyone feel like answering?

In the offline world we all deal with cliques. And feeling like we don't fit in or belong sometimes.

When I joined the forums I remember seeing members with thousands of posts and people greeting eachother like old friends.

I wanted so badly to feel like part of this community. I know I'm not alone... Sometimes I see a thread where someone is disheartened by a lack of response.

My question (sorry for the waffling) ...

What helped you to feel welcome here?

Here is my list (yep quite keen on lists)

• For newbies start your own thread in welcome/orientation. If you post your story in a social thread or someone else's thread you'll get lost in the system.
• On that note... Try not to make multiple threads on the same topic. If you are finding you need support speak up in the social threads or in a thread you contribute to a bit... Give the title of your thread and ask if someone will come have a chat.
• Read the rules and the posts in the welcome orientation section. Seems obvious but I don't think everyone does... And there is a lot of useful stuff in there!
• Remember the forums are not immediate. If you need immediate help there are the support numbers. Everyone on here is just like you (voluntarily contributing and dealing with a mental illness) so if you flood the forums with posts getting angry or upset about a delay in response or a post held up in moderation people tend to get overwhelmed and upset too. The helplines are there for a reason please use them 😊.
• Take the time to respond. There is nothing worse that writing a reply and then the new user never comes back online. There isn't a notification system. You've got to log on and check. Please do.
• Write to others. You don't have to know what to say. Or have advice. Sometimes it is just nice to have someone aknowledge you or to know someone is listening.

Enough waffling from me.... What does everyone else think?

Nat

[MsPurple]

HI Quercus (Nats) and everyone 🙂

I think sometimes people forget that all community champions actually suffer from a mental illness as well. I myself have had a few bad days, but still try come on the forums to help others and offer support and guidance. I think (well for me personally anyways) people need to sometimes to be challenged. I find if I keep things the same then how can I expect a different result. I think assurance is good and knowing you are not alone, but after a while you (including myself) need to be challenged or challenge your thinking. If I didn't challenge myself (like my psych says) I would always believe 'I am usless, hopeless, failure' instead I try and challenge the thoughts and say 'but why am I these things. I have a loving family, I am working hard in my job' etc. It helps me not give up and give into my MI and thinking patterns.

Thanks Nats for helping us challenge ourselves and offering support at the same time. Yes it can be confronting at times (no one wants to deal with their demons), but it is necessary.

Keep up the good work on this thread 🙂

Sorry my head and thought patterns are a bit over the place. Hope this post makes sense

[White_Rose]

Hello Everyone

I want to add my two cents worth here. Feeling welcome is a huge part of these BB forums. It's more than an hello though this is important, even vital. The above posts have stressed the need for support from and to each other. There are times when the community has helped and supported me because that's what I needed and I am so grateful this need has been answered. We are all in need of each other, warts and all.

Many people post here and some of them spend a huge amount of time helping their fellow posters. Do you remember your moms saying to you, "If you can't say something nice about someone, don't say anything". A slight variation, if you feel you cannot answer a post then leave it. There will be others who can do that. Looking out for others means looking out for yourself.

I am always in awe of the posts here. Long may it continue.

Mary

[Guest_1584]

l've only just joined myself and if it wasn't for eye strain and a bad dose of dyslexia brain fk when l over do anything like this , l'd love to look around more and read a lot through the place and hear what many others are talking about.

But alas , l can only do so much of this stuff before it all just turns to fog. But , l can see enough to know it's a great place with great people and good hearts, l do wish they'd make this tiny little typing box bigger though because l can't see or check anything l say here is the only thing so once l press the old button it's a hope for the best thing.

But , l think just get into it quercus and talk about whatever you need to and feel no shame because we all have some broken bits , even the most together person we think we know, we have some. Only here from what l've seen , we can talk about it and admit it and even find others with the same things , listen to what they have to say and learn from each other or share your thing.

Seems like a fantastic place to me, l feel perfectly at home and l'm sure you will too.

[demonblaster]

Hi 🙂

Are you using your phone? I too have found it frustrating from phone, it is small area.

Good on you for good input and supportive comments

Would be difficult with dyslexia but like that you still have a go, good for you, any chance of voice here as opposed to reading. I know there's voice for some things on PC not sure bout other devices though or if here it can be done.

Tc

[Guest_1584]

Hi Demo,hows that for a positive spin on your handle. But nah , could never do these on a phone , a laptop helps but no matter how big the screen l can only read a few pages pr do a few replies at once. l've got a fe wthreads ehre so far but the smae , l can only read or do a fe wreplies at a time.

Thre's a thread here ,l think it's an intro thread with everyone talking about themselves and what's happening , l'dlove to read that but it's so long there's no way but l'm chipping away at it a few at a time.

No idea about the voice thing , mine would do it but how no idea. It'd certainly put a new spin on forums though wouldn't it , be pretty cool actually hearing people.

[Guest_1584]

l can text and chat pretty good on a phone though l set it on really big letters that helps.

[Quercus]

Wow! I go out for a cuppa and there are responses galore 😊

Thanks Croix and Mary and MsP and DB and Randomx!

Randomx I feel you about the forums on mobiles. I should use my tablet the phone irritates me sometimes too.

Lots of new threads at the moment too so to any newbies reading posting for the first time and waiting for a response... it can take a little while don't lose heart or worry that you're not important... Not the case at all.

Like Croix and Mary said everyone new or old, CC or BlueVoices member has a part to play.

The most beautiful post I have seen today was by Kid_in_denial and it was a simple follow up post to a new user... You haven't written back again just checking if you are ok. How awesome is that! (Sorry KID if you are embarrassed at the shout out but you made my day).

Like MsP said you can be low and still helping support others.

Whatever your reason for joining the forums YOU bring skills and benefits to share. Empathy. Understanding. Techniques that have worked for you. Life experiences others don't have.

Part of the joy of being a CC is watching someone make decisions and changes to empower themselves. We don't do counselling (that's the job for a professional). We encourage eachother to help ourselves! Everyone is capable of that 😊

So if you are waiting for a response or feeling alone reach out to others. It helps everybody.

[Miss_Manson]

Hey Quercus,

You read my mind and your bloody awesome 🙂 i am new and have been feeling out of place and overwhelmed with the amount of content/people/ stories . Not knowing where to start so to speak.

You give some great ideas and encouraging words 🙂 thank you.

I'd post more but my shitty 50 dollar phone makes it quite a chore atm 😛

Peace out you beautiful human being 🙂 MM x

[demonblaster]

Good post Q 🙂 & yw. I too believe we've got it in us

Random: Yeah goin from phone's a bit how's ya father aye, good on you not giving in and not doing, you found a way around it aye, by doing the odd post.

Yeah ditto, going through some threads in bits, I usually read the OP (original post) then last page or few posts to get up to date but some I've become closer too, wanna read more and understand their issues

cyaz have a good eve or at least better

[MsPurple]

Hi everyone

Yes like everyone the one bad thing about the forums is it isn't very phone friendly. I tried once for a whole 5 mins and gave up. I use my phone all the time. Sometimes because it is just easier (maybe not but I think it is) than using my laptop. Plus if I am in an area without wifi my phone can just use it's own data. I think phone accessability will make it easier for use to check threads when out an about (e.g. on the train). I only come on here when I am at home. Also I do have an iphone 6. I think I need an upgrade as it's battery is shocking and it is finally slowing down. But you know. I don't have the moohlah $$$ to do it.