A question for our new members (and regulars too 😊).

[Quercus]

Hi everyone,

I've been thinking lately about inclusion on the forums and wondering...

What it is like to be a newbie on the forums?

Anyone feel like answering?

In the offline world we all deal with cliques. And feeling like we don't fit in or belong sometimes.

When I joined the forums I remember seeing members with thousands of posts and people greeting eachother like old friends.

I wanted so badly to feel like part of this community. I know I'm not alone... Sometimes I see a thread where someone is disheartened by a lack of response.

My question (sorry for the waffling) ...

What helped you to feel welcome here?

Here is my list (yep quite keen on lists)

• For newbies start your own thread in welcome/orientation. If you post your story in a social thread or someone else's thread you'll get lost in the system.
• On that note... Try not to make multiple threads on the same topic. If you are finding you need support speak up in the social threads or in a thread you contribute to a bit... Give the title of your thread and ask if someone will come have a chat.
• Read the rules and the posts in the welcome orientation section. Seems obvious but I don't think everyone does... And there is a lot of useful stuff in there!
• Remember the forums are not immediate. If you need immediate help there are the support numbers. Everyone on here is just like you (voluntarily contributing and dealing with a mental illness) so if you flood the forums with posts getting angry or upset about a delay in response or a post held up in moderation people tend to get overwhelmed and upset too. The helplines are there for a reason please use them 😊.
• Take the time to respond. There is nothing worse that writing a reply and then the new user never comes back online. There isn't a notification system. You've got to log on and check. Please do.
• Write to others. You don't have to know what to say. Or have advice. Sometimes it is just nice to have someone aknowledge you or to know someone is listening.

Enough waffling from me.... What does everyone else think?

Nat

[demonblaster]

Hey Q

Thanks for reply. In regards to social threads as replacement for off line friends fair point but not for me ☺ hun no attitude there its just I can't put it on friends, many have said if you want to talk and actually not long back I did approach two there's a few others but started with them and they both felt they wouldn't know what to say. I've had very little luck in the past the rare attempts at reaching out.

Also seriously if I put half how I'm feeling that's if I can even express that much they'd walk away in depression, it's too heavy for them so social also suits me as I live alone so no one around daily but what I'm slowly starting to do is ring or text people just for tinsy doin it hard and I'm after distraction that helped a bit recently in a very heavy down.

I suggest to people to talk to their friends family. I do but not during the downs.Told the two tho what they did say helped tremendously.

The problem I see though is investing in social threads to the expense of your support network offline.

But the reality is I can't help offline. If you are overwhelmed and teary I cannot help in the same way as an offline friend could.

So I see the social threads as having their use but also I like to encourage people to invest in creating offline support networks. Making good friends offline takes significantly more effort. But the benefits are enormous.

What do you think?

[Chloe_M]

Hello Burgy23,

hello and welcome to the forums! It's great that you've decided to, in time, contribute and share your own stories. It might help for you to start your own thread (if you haven't already). you can tell us more about yourself there and that way, we can get a better idea of how to help!

all the best,

chloe

[Quercus]

Hello Burgy and welcome 😊

Chloe said it all really but another reply never hurts...

If you decide to make a thread feel free to add your link here so we can check it out. What sort of issues are most important to you? Maybe we can suggest some threads you might find useful.

Nat

[startingnew]

hi Burgy23 and welcome aboard 🙂

[Flick_SnotGrass]

Hey Burgy23, welcome to our madness...oops, poor choice of words there 🙂 .... welcome aboard, we're a friendly bunch, jump in and get involved.

Cheers,

Flick SnotGrass

[Tams20]

Hi Nat,

Still fairly new to these forums and have mixed views to be honest... first of all, to start with the positive, I think it is great that so many people give up their time to help others. There’s some amazing advice and support on offer in these forums.

I’ve had some really useful interactions with a handful of contributors, both on my threads and on others, but I do find it can be quite ‘cliquey’... I’ve seen quite a few posts from people feeling they don’t get a response and I sort of know what that feels like... there are a group that obviously know each other well and get on well, chatting regularly, so there some threads that tick along nicely, but they are really hard to break into... threads get hijacked with personal conversations and anyone that wants to get involved and talk about the original post (usually great topics!) would probably be put off by that. It sort of feels like you’re walking up to a group of people who are deep in conversation and trying to get involved - we all know how hard that is!

I’m fairly resilient and I struggle with these forums sometimes... maybe part of it is the functionality of the forum itself - I’ve been checking out the SANE forums and they appear to be more user-friendly, tagging people, notifications etc.

Anyway, feeling a bit like having a whinge today - apologies.

Tams

[Doolhof]

Hi Tams and All,

Tams, you have made some great points here. I too feel at times like people form groups that are exclusive on the forum. I'm not sure people mean for that to happen though.

Like in real life, some people seem to gravitate towards each other, and if we feel like we are standing on the outside, we may feel like we are not welcome to join in.

I would like to suggest that people do try to join in where ever they feel like they want to contribute.

Yes, there will be times when for one reason or another people do get left out or left behind. When that happens to me, I try to be confident enough o just get right back there into the conversation.

Some threads do go off topic. Quite often a moderator will step in a gently redirect people again.

One of my problems is that I quite often forget where I have been communicating with people, so I don't follow through. It doesn't mean I am purposely ignoring someone, I'm just not always aware of everyone and don't remember where I have posted.

Some threads move along very quickly and people's posts can be over looked.

I'd like to encourage everyone to try again. To realise everyone on the forum has their own issues. To feel comfortable joining in conversations.

Hopefully everyone will be recognised and have their post acknowledged. Sometimes there are glitches in that theory!

Cheers all from Dools

[Tams20]

Hi Dools,

I’m all for social chat, no issues with members connecting and gettinggn to know each other. But it would be good if there was a section of the forum for the more serious threads where it was clear that the conversation needs to stay on topic. I’ve been trying to read through some of the older popular threads to get advice on various topics, but there’s a lot of stuff to wade through in order to find the gems - and I struggle to find the time.

Of course all of this could be an occupational hazard of mine - I’m a civil engineer, so if it’s not concise and preferably written in dot point form I struggle to comprehend 😂

Tams

[startingnew]

Hi Tams. I havent met you yet so its nice to meet you 🙂

On the thread 'the forum suggestions/improvements thread' there was a list of upgrades happening this yr sometime and your welcome to add your own in too if you have any suggestions.

also im not sure of your age but u need to be over 18 to join the other forums too.

Ive just taken a look on that thread and heres what Chris B had said about the upgrades:

Notifications when you've had a reply
* Ability to subscribe and unsubscribe from threads
* User tagging and notifications
* Enhanced 'like' button functionality
* Find all posts/threads by a user

Hope this helps abit with knowing whats happening to enhance the functionality of the forums.

Again welcome ❤

[Sophie_M]

Hi Tams20, thanks for your feedback.  We will be significantly upgrading the forum platform later this year to include functionality that you've seen on other forums.  It will also make it much easier for you to find threads that are relevant to you, providing suggestions based on threads you have read/participated in already.  Hopefully you can persevere with us until then!