Dear Werty678~
Welcome back ot the Forum. I'm sorry to read that your situation is much the same. Having an ex who took all your money and now having you four boys grown up with partners and starting families it does very much make for an empty house.
You did say you were involved with them, has that changed at all? Sometimes the start of a family can be a time to get closer by helping and giving advice. How do you feel about grandkids? I had great fun looking after and teasing mine:)
With nothing to do of course you feel like staying in bed, and filling life with TV does not really close the gap. As someone with depression I found firstly I had to have medications that did a reasonable job wihtout large side effects. Then secondly I tried to find something to do of an evening that I enjoyed or distracted me, it might be phone call, or a book, or going for a walk, or any one of umpteen things. That gave me something to look forward to each day.
You wonder if life would be different for your children if you were not there -of course it would, it is simply you are unable to put yourself into their shoes and see the effect your absence would have.
Another thing you cna do that makes a difference and gives you purpose is to do some volunteering. Most of the larger charitable organizations have a whole load of different jobs a person could do, and the interaction wiht the people would do you good.
Then again completely different places -like museums - use volunteers too. I volunteer and it makes a world of difference -plus I enjoy it.
If you would like to keep on talking you'd be made very welcome
Croix
