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Gaslighting friends

Community Member

I have female that causes so much trouble and blames everything on me. Then when confront her she’s always sick but doesn’t say what is wrong with her. Again last night, sent message to my hubby wishing happy birthday but he revecived one. She saying she did both check both of our phones nothing. My hubby didn’t enjoy he’s birthday with no friends. Now this friends so bad it doing my metal heath 

5 Replies 5

Community Champion
Community Champion

Dear Daniblue~

I'd like to welcome you here to the Forum, a good place to come to where you can see how others have handled situations.


I'm not sure why you call this person a friend , after all if she is always causing trouble and blames you, and then makes excuses not to talk about it then she does not sound like a friend at all. A true freind would at least talk things over.


Have you considered simply having nothing to do with her? Sometimes simply avoiding people who are trouble can be the best way.


I'm not sure I understand what you were saying about her and your husband, do you think she has designs on him?


You know you are welcome here anytime




Hi, it’s hard when she’s is husband best wife. She’s always causing so much drama. I have pushed her away for about week. Then I unblocked her until hubby birthday. She’s said she did right message to my hubby, he didn’t receive anything from her. She’s was trying called my hubby a lier and started arguments on he’s birthday which is in called for. Sh starts all the time we cop the the aftermath. I’m just getting over it now.forgot say she has driven past our place all the time, she gets jealous of my in-laws, looking after our child and always complains about them behind their back. 

Dear Daniblue~

Thank you for trying to explain. I'm afraid I simply did not understand the first part of what you said.

I had asked in my last post why you did not simply have nothing to do with this female?

Your answer was:

"it’s hard when she’s is husband best wife"


I find it very difficult to follow and talk sensibly wihtout proper understanding - do you mean she was your husband's ex-wife?


My apologies, if you would care to explain some more I'd be greateful



She’s my hubby best mates wife? So I was upset when I was wrighting 

Dear Daniblue~

Ah, that explains it, and you have every right to be upset. Unfortunalty when you marry someone you get their mates and their mate's wives too, not always a happy situation.


Actually it does not sound an easy situation for your hubby either. On the one hand his main duty is to look after you, but he can be torn in needing to look after his friend (who is the realy unlucky one being married to that woman.)


Have you talked this over with your hubby? Maybe he can pay you extra attention when this female is acting up, plus of course in time will get to the stage of not believing anything she says.


As for her being jealous, I'm glad you have something for her to be jealous of. You sound as if you have pretty good in-laws.