techniques to control thought patterns

[chickidee]

I suffer from anxiety and depression, am on meds, and have done the whole healthy living thing which did really work.  but I have hit another bad patch, feel like crying all the time, am snappy at my children but most of all I constantly have negative thoughts.  what strategies have you done to try and change these negative thoughts into positive ones.  I know everything I complain about is in my head but I don't know how to change the pattern.  Thanks in advance

[anchat]

Hi chickidee,

Thank you for your post. I'm sorry you are going through a rough patch, I hope sharing my experiences with you helps in some way, even if it is small.

 Whenever I feel my anxiety creep in- yo know, the fuzzy feeling in your head- One thing helps me, more often than not. Taking a deep breath in, and then slowly releasing your breath through your mouth in a controlled manner. Even before thinking about changing my thoughts or suppressing negativity, this is what I do.  Just drop what you're doing for 30 seconds, and practise doing this 2-3 times.

 Another technique I've recently looked into is mindfulness. Theres many ways to practise mindfulness- mindful eating, mindful meditation, but the one that helps instantly with mild anxiety for me is when my mind wanders from the activity that I am doing, I thank my brain for wandering, as it is only doing its job. Then I return to the activity and focus on it. Slowly, but surely this thought process occurs automatically. Studies have shown that people whose mind wander less are happier http://www.wjh.harvard.edu/~dtg/KILLINGSWORTH%20&%20GILBERT%20%282010%29.pdf

Hope this helps, and stay strong! You have made right choices so far, be proud of that.

[Bliss]

Hi

I have found that mindfulness works and so does meditation. If you try and wake up, meditate for 10 minutes and then think about all the things you are grateful for every day.

The other thing I am finding is when I start to dwell on negative things, I say to myself STOP. enough. I am strong, I am confident, I am not going to be this negative person.

Lastly, spend time in nature, in the bush, around water, it's very healing.

And don't be hard on yourself.

[Beltane]

I recommend a book called "the happiness trap" by Dr Russ Harris. Wonderful techniques to deal oth trouble some thoughts. It is based on "Acceptance and commitment therapy" which I love love love.

it operates on the idea that fighting against negative thoughts- arguing them, ignoring them, challenging whatever- only makes them want to be heard more. The more you try to make them go away, the more they yell. Like a toddler!

so ACT is all about a technique called "diffusing" which is basically seeing your thoughts for what they are- thoughts. Words. Stories. You learn to remove their power. For example, one technique is to put the thoughts to a song you find funny, like "sesame street". It's to teach your brain to go "hang on, you're not a fact, you're not truth, and you're not helpful- you're just a thought.". 

The book explains it much better than that. You can get it as an ebook on a kindle or phone off Amazon, or on eBay.

theres also a few apps for smartphones if you have one- search for "act" or "acceptance and commitment therapy"

i love ACT. Its so forgiving, all about compassion and being kind to yourself.

[chickidee]

Thank you all for your replies, I will definitely find that book (OMG I havent read a book since i had children almost 9 years ago, just one of the bits of me that have disappeared) and do some research on this mindfulness.

I do appreciate the advice.  I just want to hurry up and get myself better, I hate feeling this way.  I will keep you posted on my progress.

Nice to know other people get it 😉

[Blue85]

Mindfulness is indeed a great help for anxiety.

 I've also spent a lot of time working on cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) with a psychologist. It helps you to retrain your thinking patterns and challenge WHY you have certain patterns. It isn't exactly a quick process, but it is definitely worthwhile overall.

A couple of questions that you can ask yourself in times when you are talking negatively to yourself are:

- If this was a friend telling me this, would I think less of them? (The answer is pretty much always no - and it is good to then remind yourself to be kinder to your own self).

- What are the "thinking mistakes" that I am making (googling may help here with understanding more about this). E.g. Am I overgeneralising? Am I 'mind reading'. Often you will find that you aren't being rational, and by pin pointing HOW you are being irrational, it can be easier to turn the negatives into positives or even a simply neutral thought.

 CBT has been very helpful for me, and I highly recommend it. Above all, try to remember to be kind and compassionate to your own self, just as you would be to friends in time of need. Good luck!

[HelenM]

Hi Chikidee

Perhaps anything I say will already have been said. I am currently going through a period of anxiety/fear - they're probably the same thing. So I get all those negative thoughts. Mine tend to be, I'll never feel good again. This then becomes the focus of my thoughts. I'll never enjoy my grand children, never be able to go to visit family, never be able to enjoy an evening out, basically it feels as if my life is over and no one can convince me that it'll pass.

I have recently started a mindfulness course and although it's early days I think it's helping. Part of it is meditation and in this you concentrate on your breathing and your mind will go off all the time - that's normal. Each time bring it back to your breathing and congratulate yourself for recognising it. You are living in the present moment. The meditation may not feel good but you do not look for results. I did have one 20 meditation that worked really well - I managed to suspend all my fears for that time. There is a lot more to Mindfulness. I would imagine if you google it you'll find it mentioned.

I have experienced about 15 episodes of depression over the years - of varying lengths and intensity. Every time I believe I will never be well again and no one can convince me otherwise. They nearly always come out of the blue so I know that they'll come again. It's occurred to me that if I can learn to cope with them they would be diluted.

Mindfulness is about accepting what is. I suspect that even telling myself I'll get better is not helpful. I was told mindfulness is not a cure it's a way of life. I don't find it easy and I know that by the end of the course I probably won't have got that far but it makes total sense to me and is radically different to how I've ever thought before.

Best of luck, Helen