Hi everyone
I am looking for something fairly specific - a support group for spouses of medical doctors who are still in training to be specialists. I'm not sure if I'm posting in the right place. I know anecdotally there are people like me, but I haven't been able to find anything outside of the US with a Google/Facebook search.
Long story short, the career pathway of a doctor doesn't just end with graduation - they need to choose a specialty (GP is also a specialty). Regardless of the specialty chosen, you need to pass exams to get onto a training pathway for a specialty, and once on the training pathway there are further exams and assessments. These are not run of the mill exams - they are gruelling and it is borderline sadistic that the medical profession expects doctors to work overtime days AND study for these exams.
There is no guarantee that by passing exams you'll get on the training pathway you want -most specialties only have a very limited number of training spots per state. So realistically, this means moving interstate or rural if you even get a spot. All up, assuming you pass exams and get onto a training program (which are a yearly sitting/intake thing), it can take close to ten years to finish specialising. For some it's a never ending battle. It's also not acceptable to not specialise in something - you can't be in no-man's land training forever.
I guess, I am posting this, because as the wife of a doctor, it's really hard. It's really hard to plan a family when you don't even know where you'll be in a year. It's hard to keep moving around - I'm in a new city again and it's very lonely here starting again. It's hard because I miss home, and the plan is to move back one day, but we don't know when one day actually is. He has unfortunately failed his exams despite so much hard work, which means another year for us here in this city we don't really like. He knows I miss home, even though I try to stay upbeat and positive, so I think he felt an extra sense of pressure to pass which backfired.
For people not married to doctors, it's hard to understand the culture. People say 'just take some time off!' 'he needs to prioritise family more!' it's really not that simple. Like I said, I've anecdotally had chats with other women in the same situation who understood, but I wonder if there's a formal group out there?
