Sense of loss after last session with psychologist

[MarkBt]

I had my last session with my psychologist on Friday as she is taking extended leave. I was feeling ready for a break, I had been going almost weekly for the best part of this year. Coming into the session I knew there would be change and I was feeling ready, slightly sad it was ending for now. After the session I caught the bus to work, on the way a song came on the radio that I hadn't heard for more than 15 years but I immediately connected with it and became very emotional - quite sad. At work, several long term colleagues were leaving that day for jobs overseas. One of them I was relatively close to. More emotion, but it was my relationship with the psychologist that I felt an overwhelming sense of loss for. I have been to several psychologists before, the last one over 10 years ago and for a longer period but I didn't feel this way when it ended. This time I feel a very deep sense of loss that I am struggling to come to terms with. I don't have any romantic feelings toward her or anything like that but I guess I hadn't realised how much I had opened up or that we had connected. The reaction has completely blindsided me. I didn't even feel this coming until the day of the last session.

It is like losing a best friend to a far away place, the support and understanding that you are used to is suddenly no longer. As a result now I feel a bit fragile. I'm not sure how normal this is and I guess I feel a bit lost with it all. Perhaps I wasn't ready for a break, while I know it will pass I feel very lost with it all. Have others found this?

[BballJ]

Hi Markbt,

I understand how you feel... it is like losing a best friend. I guess one way to look at it is, the fact it is only extended leave, meaning she will be coming back, that should be something to hold onto. They do become a best friend that's for sure as you connect on such an emotional level. I haven't had that feeling with my psychologist however I haven't seen her as long as you have.... but I think this is 100% normal and you don't have anything to worry about on that front. It's almost an adjustment period of not seeing her weekly as you did. The point here is use the stuff she has taught you and put them into practice.

Did she say how long until she comes back?

My best for you,

Jay

[MarkBt]

Thanks, Jay. I know I'm likely to see her again, probably about a year away. I'm struggling with the depth of feeling. Perhaps I also feel a little guilty as I have real trouble tapping into feelings and not intellectualising everything. I made progress for sure but it wasn't until after I left the office that it just hit me. A real feeling of empty, the loss the sense of wanting to return and talk about just that. I know deep down i'll be ok but had the real need to reach out right now. Not sure how to process it.

[geoff]

dear Mark, how well I know this feeling, because I had been seeing my psychologist, a female, for 20 years, but suddenly she upped and left, so when I went into for next supposed session, she wasn't there, and I was told that she had gone, hell that was such a surprise and a shock that she hadn't told me, I felt crippled because I was coming out of my depression and besides we understood eachother, no romantic or sexual feelings, just someone I could talk to about anything, plus she remembered all the names that came up, I was devastated.
My doctor then suggested another psychologist, but he was totally different and always had an answer to every concern I mentioned, in other words he was unhelpful and asked why I need to see him, so I left and haven't seen anybody else for a long time.
I know exactly what you are feeling, and can feel your pain, I'm sorry for you. Geoff.

[MarkBt]

Thanks Geoff, hope you are able to find someone who is a better fit. When you are ready.

im my case the exit was controlled and well communicated. i knew in advance. Thing is i thought id be ok with it and when it finally happened, im not ok. there is the loss of connection which is significant no doubt. now im turning my attention to my own reaction and why i felt it so strongly. am i not finished, not ready for a break? are things worse than im willing to admit to. on top of the loss there is a kind of hit to my confidence.

[BballJ]

Hi MarkBt,

I know its not the same but we are always happy to talk to you about whatever you are feeling, you are never alone and if you ever want to just talk anything out or get things off you mind then feel free to post back as much as you like, I will always make time and listen to hear you out.

My best for you,

Jay

[MarkBt]

Hi Jay,

Thanks so much for your support and likewise for yourself too. I will sit with it a few more days, in a strange kind of way it is good to be feeling something again. After having been emotionally cut off for a lot longer than I realised. The ups and downs of life, perhaps too cut off from the happy as well as the sad. I will keep feeling and see where it takes me.

[Sophie_M]

Hi MarkBt, there is a response on a similar issue from our resident GP and counsellor Dr Kim that you might find helpful in this thread here:

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/treatments-health-professionals-and-therapies/psychologist-resignation-#qlj7BHHzvGGEbv8AAOnT_A