Psychologist break confidentiality?

TimTams · ‎01-07-2019

Hello I have a question regarding when a psychologist is allowed to break confidentiality.

I am over 18 but was abused at 15.

If I speak to a psychologist about the details, can she break confidentiality and tell the police?

Or is it only if someone is still a minor that they can do this?

I did some reading and I think as I was the victim and am now over 18 that I can choose to keep it confidential? Is this correct?

Thank you

TimTams · ‎03-07-2019

* What happened a year+ ago was in relation to my ex-partner and not when I was 15. I did not feel comfortable to tell anyone in the public system because so many of their remarks were already so insensitive and they really did not have no idea. I really hate talking to people who have never been through anything like what I have because they just do not get it and often make the situation worse by saying the wrong things. For me, the abuse is something that I will live with for life, and the public system implying I should get over it after 2 years was hurtful considering I never received any closure or managed to tell anyone everything that happened I did not think me being upset was that obsessive. I was abused, raped, nearly died, told to go kill myself and did nearly and they just expect me to get over it. It is something that I cannot just get over. I really would like help from someone a lot more professional. I just feel like I have been abused by so many adults in positions of power and really feel like again and again I just face abuse or being shunned by other adults instead of help. I need someone to really believe me and help me.

TimTams · ‎03-07-2019

I am sorry for all the questions. There is a lot going on in my head and I feel a bit sick by all of it. Can I ask anyone here, is it not normal that it has been over a year and I am still struggling with what my ex-partner did? Am I meant to have recovered by now? Is it not normal that I do not just get over it? I feel like I am always going to hurt so much by this and am just wondering if that means something is wrong with me?

smallwolf · ‎03-07-2019

Hi TimTams,

How long does it take to recover?

I once raised a similar question to my psychologist. By analogy I equated it with a jigsaw puzzle. Two problems, how big is the puzzle, and how many corners are there?!? Guess what. That became my homework for the next session. And the answer to that question was that I cannot know. Its like asking how long is a piece of string. In my case, it is as big or small as it needs to be. I hated that because I was looking for the goal line.

Rather I should be looking to see how far I have come.

Now my issues probably started in high school if not earlier and I am approaching 50. And there are some things from those days that I cannot get past - things that made be feel like a failure, or that I was not good enough. In short, it will take time. But how long I don't know.

But I have confidence that between myself and the help of my support team that I one day I can move past these things.

So in my view, and to borrow a saying from my psychiatrist, what you are feeling is natural for you. Some people take a longer or shorter time than other to heal, and it does not make you lesser for it. Just take each each day, one at a time, and the same for the weeks. And with the help of your support team you will find a way to move forward.

Tim

romantic_thi3f · ‎04-07-2019

Hi TimTams,

Thank you for your post and it means so much to me that you feel comfortable sharing all of this here.

I feel so upset reading what you've been through, as what you've been through sounds hard enough, let alone the remarks and everything else when you went to go and talk to people. You didn't deserve any of that. I hope you know that.

I also hate the idea that you've been told or you have this idea that you need to 'get over it'. What happened was very traumatic and there's no rush for you to recover or find a new normal. Whatever the idea of normal is, it's going to be slower to get to because you haven't had that support system in place when you needed it the most.

Also, no, there is absolutely nothing wrong with you - and you never need to be sorry for asking questions.

TimTams · ‎04-07-2019

Thank you. It has been surprisingly really hard to find an adult who is trustworthy and caring. I feel the same that I would have recovered better if I had been listened to properly. It might sound funny to other people that I cannot get over it but I really have not even been able to tell an adult the full story without being further abused. Every time I have tried to work up the courage I have had people make nasty comments about why I am not working at the moment and things like that. It has been really hard for me to move on when I have not been able to tell someone the whole story. It is also hard to get over it when I have not received justice despite having nearly lost my life. It is hard to get over nearly dying and not having the people who caused that pulled up in any way. I just felt like my life was really not worth anything to anyone and had no hope of someone listening to what happened to me when I was younger when they would not believe me when I said my ex partner knew not to do what he did. I really thank you for the space place to talk. I really have been struggling to move forward and it has not helped that I did not have a adult I could trust to talk to. Thank you.

Guest5643 · ‎04-07-2019

Hi Tim Tams.

I am so so sorry what your going through and genuinly feel your pain. Although a different situations to yours i completely understand what its like to lose all trust in adults and police ect. If i'm ever assaulted ect i will never go to police cause i know somehow they'll make it my fault. I realy realy hope you can find some peace, and there is no right or wrong time limit for that. The unfortunate reality is some psychologists do break the confidentiality rules. A local psychologist i used to run into while we would walk our dogs would each time start telling me bout her sessions where the clients lived, details of there problems, sometimes laughing at what they were wearing and what they looked like. Eventualy i got so fed up and called up the place and they said they were aware of what was happening and she dosnt work there now and they had a meeting with the other psychologists in the place about the confidentiality laws and what happened. Lynne

TimTams · ‎04-07-2019

Hi Lynne,

That is awful and I wish there was something more I could do to help other people who have been let down by professionals in helping professions.

I do realise now though that 'reputable' people cannot necessarily be trusted just because they are in caring/helping professions. A big part of why I am fearful of rejoining the workforce is because of the untrustworthy people who are currently working. I have more pride in saying I am unemployed right now not because I am lazy but because I am honestly petrified of these types that I have unfortunately came across. I am pleased that psychologist is no longer as that rarely happens - from what I have come across anyway, criminals have been allowed to stay in their jobs. It is a terrifying thought to rejoin the workforce when I now know these people are out there and held unaccountable. It is absolutely what makes me never want to rejoin society again.

Besides the disappointment, I am going to try to trust this psychologist and I will hope she will do the right thing by me. I have not been able to move on because I never had the chance to tell my whole story. She can gossip about my clothes (wink) but I hope this psychologist really takes what I am telling her a lot more seriously. This is the last time I am going to trust someone and I really do hope this professional listens.

I have not really thought about what the psychologist would say about me in terms of gossip but I just cannot stop thinking about other teenage girls who could have been hurt. Again, I need to say something. I just hope this time the person I trust will realise the gravity this time. Wish me luck. My appointment is not until mid next week and I might chicken out from telling her but I am really going to try. I would like to change the system more for other people than myself because if I cannot speak up I really believe nobody can.

Guest5643 · ‎04-07-2019

Hi TimTams. I realy wish you the best of luck and even if you do end up not seeing the psychologist just considering seeing one is a major step in helping yourself. Do you by chance have a dog that you be allowed to take with you to help ease anxiety while in there? assuming your not getting bus of course. Have you written all the details of everything that happened to you on paper and then throw away? Its an incredible stress relief doing that. Lynne

TimTams · ‎04-07-2019

Thank you, and thank you for your help. I just do not want to live my life feeling depressed about everything that happened and become one of those bitter people. I lost a pregnancy and was abused but am trying to be grateful now that I loved enough to care for the child when my partner was abusive. I am really trying to turn everything around and not let bad people ruin my idea of a kind world where people do help. I have to believe some people do want to genuinely help. I do have a dog and am a dog person, thank you for asking. I honestly do not think I could ever write the details on paper. I have never written it all down before or told anyone. I hope this person will believe it.

TimTams · ‎04-07-2019

Thanks. I am really ready to tell someone the full story, or so I think. It is more about being content that I did everything I could and told the truth. It is honestly impossible to move forward when nobody listened to me. I hope this helps a lot for myself now more than anyone else. I used to really want to help other people but right now I really do need to help myself.