Distraction rather than facing grief?
- replies: 11
Hi Everyone, my partner is going through a tough time following his separation from his wife half a year ago. He was the one separating but he is going through a depressed period because everything is overwhelming him (e.g. guilt, seeking purpose, ch... View more
Hi Everyone, my partner is going through a tough time following his separation from his wife half a year ago. He was the one separating but he is going through a depressed period because everything is overwhelming him (e.g. guilt, seeking purpose, change management etc.). He told me that he is having a tough time facing his grief and the reality of his situation, so instead he is trying to continuously distract himself. I am worried that he will not move through the grief process properly if he holds himself back from facing the pain and sadness to work through them. He is aware of what he is doing but he does not seem able to challenge himself. On top, he does not cry because his grandfather told him that real boys don't cry. So now, even when he goes to psychotherapy, he stops himself from speaking about a topic from start to finish if he finds himself close to tears. I would like some advice on whether you believe that distraction can still be a method of getting through everything or whether this will indefinitely prolong his pain and difficulties finding back to a better path. It is taking its toll on me, too because I have full uncertainty on when this will get better. I handled my own marriage breakdown very differently and went through all my pain with a lot of awareness because I wanted to get out on the other side soon. I feel he is stuck in a loop of drowning his sorrows in keeping himself busy just so that he does not have to think and feel too much. Can you also please help me understand what I could do to support him on getting through this better, i.e. how I could support him to work through his pain rather than around it. Thank you!
