Hi Essaerae, welcome to Beyond Blue forums,
How lucky you are to have such a wonderful hubby. Holding you for ages, wow, that touched me.
When we are fragile we have triggers that can easily send us to a worse place. In this case the Emergency dept and all those people was it. I totally understand. So here is my opinion based on similar experiences over many years including two major episodes not unlike yours that I had a few years ago.
Work. Work is stress and you may not be able to maintain working full time. Seek out alternatives like part time or casual. This will put a strain on finances so consider relocating to a smaller house or a home in the country. Revamp your budget.
Read up here. There are hundreds of threads here that can help you. It is a secret stash of information.
Persistence. Be persistent in your quest to find the right- psychiatrist, diagnosis, medication and dosage for you. I've never looked back once I found all 4 things. Get a second opinion if needed- its your right.
A few other things I have covered in my writings on threads- get rid of toxic damaging people from your life, meet with all family members to enable them to understand your position and that you need their help in their patience and care, dont have too many expectations of yourself- too much positivity can lead to false expectations and what you'll see as failure and care for your husband because he will at times not understand and he is caring for you- remember to greet him and appreciate him.
Good healthy diet and exercise.
Take care. Hope we hear back from you.
