Nervous breakdown. Someone to hear me

[Guest_9043]

Hi,

I have had a very severe nervous breakdown. It's been coming. I tried to take measures to stop it. It did not work. Mainly others creating a lot of stress for me. I booked myself in for a doctor's appointment today. I'm so scared to go.Im worried they are going to put me in hospital. A place I don't want to be. I feel like cancelling just on that alone. It will be an added stress I can't manage. I also have an emergency appointment with my therapist this morning. My doctor took me off a certain medication as she was lax to prescribe it. (New doctor) This medication would help, maybe I don't know. I'm also worried that the doctor won't listen to me or help me. I have to see her husband as she is fully booked today. I'm so frightened of everything. I know I am an absolute mess. Building support, I don't know how too. I'm trying. I just need a calm presence to help me relax a bit so some reassurance would be nice.

[Guest_4643]

Hello 2quick, my apologies that nobody replied to you, I just saw your thread browsing the forums so I thought I'd reply, sorry it's late.

I'm very sorry to hear of your struggles and nervous breakdown. Please know that breakdowns are common, and they're normal. I read a quote saying that breakdowns are just a sign of remaining strong mentally and physically for too long, and I agree.

It's okay to feel the way you do and think the way you think, it's okay not to be okay. Your feelings are valid, as are your thoughts and you in general. Please know that you're not alone, lots of people have nervous breakdowns, they are common like I mentioned.

I'm glad that you sought help by making a GP appointment, how did that go if you feel comfortable sharing? Did it help, did they give you strategies to cope or anything like that, a safety plan perhaps? If not, you're always welcome here for support, you're safe here.

As for putting you in hospital, I've been told that professionals don't do that unless you're at risk of harming yourself and/or others and just by reading your post without assuming things, I don't think you are, so they wouldn't. By law they have to if you're at risk though.

Good luck with your appointments and everything else, and the meds. I hope things get better for you and that you can clear your head. Take care, be safe. We're here for you on the forums, me included.

Thinking of you, all the best. Please remember you're not alone and it's all common.

Tayla

[Ggrand]

Hello 2quik...🤗..

Im really sorry you had a very severe nervous breakdown...They are so exhausting and it can take some to gain our strength again....

I can resonate with the feeling of things building up to a point then the volcano, explodes, and our emotions and mind are not working together.....

Awe Please Lovely 2quik, please don’t let your anxiety get in the way of getting medical help...I did for a long time...I knew I needed help, but anxiety made it nearly impossible to go anywhere on my own....I eventually saw my gp...who referred me to a psychiatrist and psychologist..and I have been slowing improving.....I agree with Tayla..Drs. don’t usually hospitalise you unless your a danger to you or others.. a lot of people get very frightened when seeing their Dr./professionals etc...I do...I think..because I/you think the worse case scenario..preparing ourselves for the worse....which causes high anxiety to raise inside of us...

I have a fidget spinner, stress ball, slime, squishies..I have in a little grounding pack..to help me, while I’m waiting in the waiting room...playing with things..keeps my hands busy and my thoughts on what I’m doing, and off what lays ahead of me...

I really hope your appointment when well for you yesterday..and if you feel comfortable about doing so..it would be nice to hear back from you and know how your coping....

Sending you caring thoughts, with my love and some warm healing hugs..dear 2quik...💜🤗..

Take care and please be as kind and gentle on you as you can....

Grandy...

[Guest_9043]

Hi Tayla,

Thank you for responding to my post and call for some reassurance. Thank you for saying breakdowns are common. I don't have any friends and I ended the relationship with my partner yesterday amidst going through a nervous breakdown. It does feel like I am alone and lonely cause I don't really know anyone. I do not know what is going to happen from here on in regarding the ending of my relationship. I just cannot face all that stress and emotion right now. It is too much.

I agree with that quote. I would like to add that I took on a lot that wasn't mine to take on as well. I had four and a half months of major stress and stressful events that did require me to be very strong in myself and hey presto I had a nervous breakdown. I could not cope anymore. I feel alone as in physically because I don't think my ex even understands although I did send her web pages to look at and tried to explain what I am going through.

I also agree it is OK to not be OK. No one is perfect, no one. Some people really freak out when you are not OK. They think the absolute worst and I sort of understand a bit, it is just not helpful really.

Thanks for asking about the doctors. I actually ended up cancelling it as I had to see my therapist at 11 am and then the doctors at 2pm. It was the only appointment I could get that was left. In between seeing my counselor at 11am and the doctors appointment, I ended the relationship with my partner. She said some very cruel and painful things to me and that was the last straw. I ended it right there on the spot. So in shape to see a doctor, the only thing left was to cancel.

My thoughts were running rampant as I feel so incredibly unstable going through a serious nervous breakdown that I thought they will take one look at me and send me to hospital where I do not want to go. Having disordered thoughts and not being able to be sensible is something that pretty much goes out the window when you are in a panic.

My therapist knows what is happening. I still take all my medication. I never forget it and take it every day/night. I know for sure there is not much more we can do medication wise. I have also started seeking out a social worker in the community who can support me as extra support along with therapy and the very good, kind and supportive folk here at Beyond Blue. I am slowly building supports for me.

Thanks again Tayla for reaching out and your kind post.

[Guest_9043]

Hi Grandy,

Thank you for your care. This one has completely wiped me out. I also had one about five years ago now so here I go with another one. I think and feel this one is worse than the one five years ago. They are more than exhausting, they completely wipe you out.

I am glad that you finally did go and get some help. My anxiety and panic was running rampant. I had been in a very bad state since the breakdown started on Monday this week. I am still not quite out of it at all, I know when I start to come out of it though I am going to go into a very deep depression. I am starting to feel it now so it means I am becoming more aware of my surrounding, where I am and what is going on. You really do not know from one day to the next. My ex (I ended my relationship yesterday) does not know how to support me she says. I just told her she is off the hook and not to worry about it. I cannot take anymore. I tried to help her understand. I am not sure if even she is very present with me right now. All I know is I need to focus on me and how I am going.

I keep up regular appointments with my doctor. She is up to date with my mental health and medication. I was going in yesterday to update her on my nervous breakdown and the fact that I was having one. I was trying to think to myself does my doctor need to know? I was not able to think clearly at all. So I thought well I will make one anyway just in case. Turn out she was all booked up and I had to book in with her husband. I ended up cancelling.

I like your little grounding pack you got. I have play doh. I just bought it recently. It helps me when I am starting to get distressed and there is too much sensory stuff going on. (I am highly sensitive to sound. light, noises and just too much going on.)

I am not coping really well actually. I am just asking myself every minute of every day, how do I get through the next minute. I am feeling an overwhelming amount of sadness yet I cannot cry at the moment. I have cried a lot lately, buckets full probably. Need a break from crying. I feel very depressed in myself. Sometimes not knowing which way to turn, sometimes really angry and frustrated, sometimes distant and not sure who I am anymore. There is a lot of loss and grief in my life right now. On top of that I no longer have a partner. It's all just too much. I have a therapist, I take my anti depressants and anxiety medication.

Thanks for your caring thoughts, love and warm hugs.

2quik.

[Ggrand]

Hello 2quik.....🤗..

Im sorry it’s taken me a while to reply..I had to travel into the bigger hospital yesterday..have 2 hours of tests done...my support worker couldn’t come with me...On the way home around 60 kilometres from from..I had a melt down..pulled over and sat their for half hour before I decided to ring my support workers helper....Who talked to me enough to get me back on the road...and meet her in the smaller town....before I drove home....

Depression/anxiety/ptsd is very debilitating at times....

Im still feeling the effects from yesterday...so I’m trying to redirect my thoughts into something here at home..My psychiatrist has told me the importance of self help in distracting my thoughts..Maybe sweety, that can help you a bit...when your mind is going over and over things...Singing along with music, doing a hobby, colouring in..internet games..sitting in the sun and being aware of your surroundings...These can bring you back into the present time...The meds yes they work for us..but we also have to top them up with some self care by distraction...I find that if I light some candles with a soft sleep story, gentle music or guided meditation it can help me...not for very long, though..it kind of gives our thoughts a little rest from us...

I have a grounding thread here..”Grounding What is it and how do we...Theirs a lot of helpful suggestions contributed my many people here..maybe you might get some ideas An there that can help you...

Please sweety...keep trying to make an appointment with your Dr..I think just my opinion that yes..it’s a good idea to tell your Dr.. your thoughts and exactly how your feeling..They never know our true depth of pain unless we tell them....

Please lovely lady..take good care of you and try hard to be very very gentle on you....

Sending you my care, love and hugs..🌈💜🤗..

Grandy..

[Guest_9043]

Hi Grandy,

Sorry for the late reply. Been a very long,hard day. I'm sorry to hear you had such a tough day yesterday. I'm glad there was someone to support and care for you.

Distraction techniques are really good. I do use them sometimes. At this point I don't think I am in the right place for that. It's really hard to explain a mental/nervous breakdown. This one was so very severe. My mind is not functioning very well at all. At the moment I am just doing one day at a time, when that gets too much I start one hour at a time.

I use grounding techniques as well. Another thing that just feels too much right now.

I have however managed to book a doctor's appts for next Wednesday. I will definitely go as I do need to see her for other things.

Thank you for the suggestions, not bad ones either,just not able to manage that at this point.

Sending you love, care and hugs in return.

[Ggrand]

Hello 2quick...🤗.

Well done getting yourself a Drs appointment..I’m very proud of you for doing that...

It is really hard when we’re in deep to do things to distract ourselves...even doing little things..to get you through to the next hour..deep breathing, brushing your hair, counting the brush strokes can be a form of distraction, it doesn’t have to anything big...Talking on here is another way to help you distract your negative thoughts...

I just wanted to call in and let you know that I care about you and I hope that today is a better day then yesterday..and if you feel to talk on here..I’m listening..

Kind thoughts 2quik...love and some warm healing hugs.💜🤗..Please try hard to look after you..the best you can..

Grandy..

[Guest_9043]

Hi Grandy,

Thank you kindly. It's strange that yes I have booked the appointment although I sit here sometimes and wonder what I am going to the doctor for? I don't answer it of course, I will just go. I have been doing things to distract and been mobile for the most part. I still feel very much outside of myself, like it is me doing things but I feel someone else is in control if that makes any sense?

At night when I go to bed I run through my day and what I did. There is still a massive amount of fear in me I do not understand as I am not usually a fearful person. The hurt is just as massive. Sometimes I feel hollow and empty. Useless and hopeless. I am trying to seek more information that can help me to understand what has happened to me.

I am really grateful you dropped in to check on things. It feels nice for me. I do not have any friends and I miss someone to just pop in and say hi. Online will do just fine. On a brighter side I do not watch television at all and havn't owned one for quite some time. Recently I bought a chrome cast and I love my chromecast. I used it when I went away and there was a television. Today I just happened to be on gum tree where I came across two televisions for free. A 45inch and a 27 inch flat screen tv. I just missed the 45 inch but managed to get in with the 27 inch. I scored it all for free. It is in mint condition, nothing wrong with it, a perfect size screen, great sound and great picture. I can also use my chromecast! I am quite chuffed and feel very blessed. So that is a good thing in my day for a change.

I will keep doing research cause I am finding it hard to find answers for myself.

Thanks for writing and I will be very very very gentle with myself.

Big hugs, love and care to you.

2quik

[Ggrand]

Hello 2quik...🤗..

Congratulations on you great win with the tv..I hope it helps you a bit with distraction..I have a tv but had it turned off for years as a lot of triggers in many shows...I started watching a few months ago, when by bbff on these forums gave me the name of a few safe shows...I have it turned off again now because of this virus...The only way I’m watching it now is with DVDs..

2quik...I understand at night when we lay down to sleep, we tend to go over our day..usually only remembering the bads of our day...I discovered Sleep Stories on YouTube..They only run for about 30 minutes to an hour..The reader I Like is Dan Jones)..although there are other readers..Dan reads gentle, soft and his stories are relaxing..I listen intently and mindfully but sometimes my thoughts do start to wander, when I realise this I bring it back to listening to his story..Maybe this is something that might help you at sleeping time....

Please 2quik....Do go to the Doctor..It might be hard, and so important to do so....If you can’t talk about how your feeling, just write it out on some paper or copy your posts here and give it to your Dr...especially your thoughts, fears and how you’ve been feeling..,

Its really hard coming out of a breakdown...your doing very well..just keep talking here if you need to...I’m listening..I might not answer you straight away..but I will Lovely one...

Researching is okay if your researching things written by qualified, professionals, psychologist, Drs. and Psychiatrist....So much written on the net can be misguiding and incorrect...

Kind caring hugs..🤗 and much love..💜..Thank you for being gentle on you...

Grandy..