Is it hard to actually get up and go seek professional help?

[Tibby]

Growing up I was always so cheerful and happy. A few years ago I experienced some trauma and I never cried or talked about it. I was just too ashamed to admit to myself that I wasn't ok. I thought I was getting on with my life, I've been at Uni for three years and I was going quite well. I think it's started to hit me what actually happened and now I'm completely unmotivated to do anything, even get out of bed some days.

I'm think I'm scared of getting help. I don't know why. Maybe it's because I'm still yet to accept that I'm not coping.

So is it hard to actually call and make the appointment? Walk in and commit to that appointment? Start talking to someone you have never met about what's wrong? Go back for more appointments?  Accepting what they have to say?

[Pixie15]

Hi

Therapy may not be comfortable. From my experience it is not like have tea and biscuits with Nanna. But I dont think it would be much use continuing with someone who really grated on your nerves for any reason. You will know after the first hour or two.

[The_Real_David_Charles]

Dear Tibby,

Your question :  "Do you just think s/he doesn't suit me and simply seek someone else ?"  (this is before you've had the 1st session)

My question:    "Do you think this kind of anxious pre-emptive thinking, logical and well prepared as it is, will entice you to give 100% in your initial appointment ?  Or will you be second guessing the whole time, judging responses and being a bit of a Centrelink Admin Officer with a clipboard ?    Planning an escape BEFORE the meet seems great and handy but to plant that doubt NOW is kind of like hoping it will fail.     What "doesn't suit" may be you - where you're actually driving  a wedge in before giving the psychologist a chance.     Try to go with a free mind and be yourself.  The like / dislike is really a separate issue but if you need this psychological comfort blankie then it's up to you.  Psychologists do about 7 years training so judging her/im in a few minutes might be a bit premature.   I have ditched a counsellor myself but it took me around 5 sessions to make this decision.  But then my original counsellor stopped seeing me over 18 months ago (we lasted 8 yrs and he helped a lot) and we've traded 60 emails since and I just gifted him a DVD for the school hols.  We ended up besties within the boundaries.  It's a bit unusual but I wanted to demonstrate the opposite extreme.

I know it's rude to answer a question with a question but I'm English !

Adios, David.

[Dennis38]

Hey there Tibby,

I have to agree some what with The real David Charles, I cant agree 100 percent with him because He is English and I am a Yankee...just goes against the grain to say a Brit is right lol... Now I do agree with him about trying not to plant that doubt before you even go an see your psychologist is a little counter productive, go in with an open mind and just sit down and talk. Now the very first psychologist I saw I knew he was not right for me, after only ten minutes he suggested electro shock therapy, I got up said "Check Please" And went and got another referral for some one else. 

Now the next lady that I talked with it took me about three times of talking with her before we both decided that she was not right for me. The third person just grated on me, more than like it was me that was doing the grating but I only stayed for about two times before getting the 4th referral and really found a good guy to talk with.

Chris09 made a good point that some times therepy is not easy, but hell if it was easy then everyone would be great and fine and we wouldn't have to deal with things like depression. But stick with it as its well worth the time and effort, and yes you will have to put in the time and more importantly the effort, but it will be worth the effort.  Keep in touch and know that everyone is here to back you up when and if you need it, best of luck and keep on swinging for the fence!

[The_Real_David_Charles]

Hey Dennis,

On a more general note isn't it the case that we don't often go for any kind of help on the basis that it "will be too much trouble" ?

Strange that being sick or getting counselling has to be considered before acting on it.  But then, even a first date has a bit of young love anxiety and, being American, thoughts of whether you can get to first base.  I've worked in the States for a few years and was always intrigued by a visitors invariable descent into the kitchen, opening the fridge and pulling out a beer without even saying "I'm thirsty".   Just conjecturing here but if there was an extra tall cabinet next door to the fridge then a visitor (or resident) could just reach inside and pull out the in house counsellor for a session in the same Amercian fashion.

I can't remember which film this situation is from but the character was obsessed with the Royal Family and had life size cardboard cut outs of them littering her lounge.   So if the secret cabinet counsellor was busy you could always talk to Prince Phillip even though his considerations seem to be a bit flimsy these days.  Lol.

Adios, David.

PS  I have Irish and Welsh blood too if being English is too much to bear.   My point is that therapy should be like singing in the shower.  Free and easy.

[Dennis38]

Hey David,

I do not think therapy should be easy, free yes, easy no. Asking for help was a little hard I will admit, going and doing the talking was not that hard, but what was the hardest, was listening and taking the advice that was given to me. If therapy was easy I do not think we would learn as much about ourselves, or as much about how to deal with the problems that we have. If it was easy then there would be no real journey, and lets face it folks that is what we are one when we start to seek help, its a long journey but its one worth traveling even the ups and downs.

That was something else I meant to tell Tibby and that is that you are going to have highs and lows when talking with a psychologist. That is to be expected so keep going back to the person once you find that right person and you will not only learn more about yourself but you will learn how to help beat this monster that is called Depression.

[The_Real_David_Charles]

Dear Dennis (and your 38 - ? calibre pistol - being American.  Lol)

Maybe there's a compromise.   You can have easy to communicate ideas but the subject matter can be tough.  Thus, even when you are struggling and possibly developing more insight the talking bit should flow evenly.    Maybe with my manic side of bipolar I can have the opposite problem - over social / talking.

But it all needs to come out.   You seem very thorough.

Adios, David.

[Dennis38]

Hey David

I agree with you that when talking about the problems everything does have to come out sooner or later, I do not believe you can talk to much, but you can listen too little. And I do try to be thorough as it helps not only myself but hopefuly a few other people. The hardest part, at least for me, has always been to listen to other people, once in a while, ok ignore the snickering in the back ground that is just the wife going "only some times?!", I do tend to dig my heels in and stick my fingers in my ears and go lalalla I cant hear you!

But I have and will continue to say this with the very last breath of air I have, and that is take everything with a grain of salt, every person both on this site and those that we talk to, professional or other wise, try to help us the best way THEY know how, there in lies the problem and that is they are not us. Sure they can and often do help but when it comes down to it we are the ones that know what is right for us, once we are in the "right" frame of mind. Listen, learn, and see if the advice that is given fits you, if it doesn't do not feel "bad" about not taking it.

We can help one another by listening, giving our advice as we see it, but what it really boils down to is a simple saying from the Matrix (great movie by the way)  I can open the door but you have to go though it."

Best of luck and Tibby I hope you are doing well

Dennis

[Pixie15]

Hi Dennis,

These are good thoughts. I have been told that its about getting to know ourselves. This can be a bit frustrating though when you want to feel better and are hoping for a quick fix. Cheers, Chris.

[Dennis38]

Hi there Chris09

I do not want to scare anyone, especially Tibby but to be honest there have been a few posts on people wanting a "quick fix" and honestly there is no such thing as a quick fix when it comes to depression/anxiety even if there was a quick fix it would not last long, quick fixes never truly last  My issues have been going on for 13 years and I do not see an end to them to be honest, at least not that I can see, I deal with them day by day, some times hour by hour. I am a lot better then what I was but still not where I want or need to be. And to be honest if there was a quick fix I do not think I would take it simply because with a "quick fix" I would not have learned as much about myself as I have. And to me that is a good thing, sure I would like the depression and the damned flash backs to go away but if there had been a quick fix I would not have discovered how A: Strong I truly am and B: How weak I really am.

Sounds kind of strange but there you have it, a quick fix is not the best option we are humans, we are not a broken computer or a leaky pipe. I say give up the idea of a quick fix, I do believe it was The Real David said in another post about setting a goal of something like 2 years to "get better" setting goals is a good idea so long as the "quick fix" is not ok I will get better next week, because honestly that might not happen, its better to look for the long term goals then the short term. But hey that is just my two cents.