i don’t think how my thinking is healthy

[ch33sy]

hi there, hope you are treating yourself well

ive come here to just talk about how i’m feeling, and i think i might need help- but i don’t know if i do

somedays i will get in this mood/head space, where i completely shut down, from talking and just freeze. i don’t know what causes this, but it’s really affecting the people around me 

and when someone asks me “what’s the problem”, there is no problem, but im not ok, i don’t feel ok, but why do i get like this, if nothing is wrong.

and i feel like i need to talk to someone because i’ve tried to manage it myself for so long, but i can’t, nothings improving, and it’s getting more frequent 

but when i think about seeing someone about it, i think that i’m just using up their time, or someone else’s time because i have no reason to be like this.

and i question myself, you’re doing it on purpose, you’re acting, and these voices it’s just so negative, and it tells me that everything is so bad, when it’s not, it’s just excessive overthinking, and it’s so tiring, im so tired of dealing with it

another thing is that, i feel things so intensely, like something will happen, and i should be like “oh that’s crap”, and move on. instead i dwell, and i spiral, and i can’t get out of it, i can’t snap out of it. the littlest amount of things just ruin me, and i shut down, and people get hurt because they think i’m ignoring them but i’m just in my head dealing with these negative thoughts, how to respond, just every little detail i can possibly think of

i ruin everything because i am stuck in the past/little interferences, and i feel stupid for feeling the way i do, because it’s just ridiculous that something like that could effect me

i can’t respond in the moment, and i am aware that my thinking isn’t beneficial, but i can’t stop or get out of the cycle 

is this something i see someone about? 

thanks

[mmMekitty]

Hello ch33sy & welcome to BB forums

There does seem to be a lot going on for you, & from what you say, it sounds like you aren't happy & it bothers you to be thinking & feeling as you do, & without a clear reason. You've tried to cope & deal with your thoughts & feelings for a long time, on your own, & that really does get tiring. I did the same, & it was like I was talking to myself, & not getting any other ideas or information other than what I already had. Talking to someone else gives us the opportunity to hear ideas to learn from them things we might not have thought of, to have someone to bounce our ideas off of, too.

People around you have noticed something is going on, & have shown their concern. Maybe there are people you could talk to? It's not easy, I know, especially when you convince yourself what you are dealing with is not anything much.

What you are dealing with is important, at least as important as anyone else's concerns.

Like I once was, you sound very down on yourself, & that's a sad way to feel about yourself. Talking to someone can also help you feel better about yourself, so you can like yourself, too. 

Would you consider talking to your GP & if you don't think you can explain, show them what you've written here? You can ask to have a Mental Health Care Plan, to at least talk to someone to find out what help they can offer.

I think it could be a realy good idea to at least talk to your GP.

You can always keep talking here & see what others think.

Hugzies

mmMekitty

[ch33sy]

thank you, ill definitely book a GP appointment 🙂