A request for some advice from a first time poster and first timer in experiencing a partner with mental health issues. Im very lost!

[Bob73]

I am happily married to my wife both mid 40's and loving life with no financial stress, good holidays and reasonable social life. In early December this ended with my wife being committed to hospital with acute psychosis and depression both of which had never been experienced before.

I have some questions

1, day one depression was diagnosed however treatment only started after week 4, is this normal?

2, the anti pschycotic drug was taken orally initially then a depot was then injected. Her oral dose at full strength continued and last week side effects started. The oral dose stopped however she is left with the depot which has a 4-6 week lifespan and can not be stopped. This is scary for my wife and she is given a drug to stop the shaking ie a drug to counter the side effects of a drug. Has anybody had similar experiences of this?

3, The ward is a communal ward and I believe my wife has become institutionalized. We are a couple, no children etc so she will be returning to a quiet home. Any ideas to overcome the community to at home with just me factor?

4, Does behavior change or is the paranoia an ongoing issue?

5, She has refused to open up fully only providing a drip drip of information to her team any tips?

6, I have never had anybody sit down with me and explain what to expect, what to look out for and how to live with her condition from this point onwards.

7, Communication has been terrible, I have to threaten formal complaints to receive calls back and for nurses to remove her phone etc as other patients have conned her into ordering food into the ward.

8, Fellow patients have become friends. How have others dealt with the patients becoming friends problem?

9, I am trusting in her medical team however after discussing her present position after 6 1/2 weeks I have doubts. To date little has been achieved, still showing signs of psychosis, depression, lack of memory etc, the only positives we know she cant have one form of medication she is speaking to me a little more...only a little!

Obviously this is testing of our relationship on top of my busy professional life. Friends have been great and YES I have been in regular contact with my GP however sometimes I feel very alone and fighting the system.

Final question do people believe some of the above issues could be resolved by taking her out of the public system and moving her to private? This becomes a possibility in a couple of weeks.

Thank you and any advice is very gratefully received.

[smallwolf]

hi and welcome to the forums.

sorry to hear about your (you and your wife) lives being thrown into turmoil. I can imagine this would be a confusing, upsetting and frustrating time for you.

so I am posting as a person with "issues" and my wife as the support person. While I cannot any many of your questions what I can say is this...

the reason I might not speak with my my wife much is a fear of the reaction I might receive. This does not mean I have not spoken with her but less than probably ideal. Sometimes it can be a number of factors that contribute to my moods so more difficult to talk about. Also my psychologist and psychiatrist would know more about me than my wife in some areas. So I don't think she would necessarily keeping you in the dark. In a similar vein... if there is someone else with a similar situation to mine, it can be easier to talk to them.

This also means you would have to be patient and perhaps not probing too much.

If you do a google search for

acute psychosis beyond blue

you will find some other similar threads from other people and their stories. You might find some answers there. There are also pages on the beyond blue web site for those supporting someone else. You might want to check out these pages as well.

Finally, reading, (self-)education, asking questions of the medical staff will hopefully help you with most of your questions. It sounds like all you wanting to find out is a way of moving forward and how to manage of deal with it. It is also OK for you to speak with someone if things are very stressful as well.

Running out of space! Anyways, listening to you and hope we can chat some more.

Tim

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi Bob73,

Welcome to the forums and thank you for all of your questions! Given that you are in contact with a GP I strongly encourage you to ask all of these questions to them since my answers are going to be a bit generalised -

1, day one depression was diagnosed however treatment only started after week 4, is this normal? - I'm not sure of the context of this as it can depend on what treatment might work for your wife, the accessibility of the treatment providers, etc.

2, the anti pschycotic drug was taken orally initially then a depot was then injected. Her oral dose at full strength continued and last week side effects started. The oral dose stopped however she is left with the depot which has a 4-6 week lifespan and can not be stopped. This is scary for my wife and she is given a drug to stop the shaking ie a drug to counter the side effects of a drug. Has anybody had similar experiences of this? - I haven't had experience with this personally however it is really common with medications to have other medications to counteract the side effects.

3, The ward is a communal ward and I believe my wife has become institutionalized. We are a couple, no children etc so she will be returning to a quiet home. Any ideas to overcome the community to at home with just me factor? - This might be worth having a chat to your wife's treatment team. There might be outpatient treatment, support groups, online groups or friends within the ward she could stay in contact with.

4, Does behavior change or is the paranoia an ongoing issue? - This depends on the person. Some people experience psychosis for days or weeks, where as others experience it long term. Here's some more information about that: https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/conditionsandtreatments/psychosis

5, She has refused to open up fully only providing a drip drip of information to her team any tips? - This can really take time and I'm not sure that I have any direct tips. It might be worth exploring to see what's preventing her from opening up to you more; could she be ashamed of what shes' going through, scared maybe.

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[romantic_thi3f]

6, I have never had anybody sit down with me and explain what to expect, what to look out for and how to live with her condition from this point onwards. - I'm happy to elaborate more (this is a long reply!) but I encourage you to talk to your GP and her treatment team and ask questions. You can also ring the Sane Helpline which has a lot of information 1800187263 and have a read here https://www.sane.org/information-stories/facts-and-guides/psychosis

7, Communication has been... . - If you're able to, it might be worth setting up a time to chat with the nurses directly. It can be really hard but chatting to them in person and at a suitable time for them can help open the lines of communication.

8, Fellow patients have become friends. How have others dealt with the patients becoming friends problem? - I don't personally see any issue with fellow patients becoming friends as having that community support can be so helpful with someone to relate to and connect with.

9, I am trusting in her medical team however after discussing her present position after 6 1/2 weeks I have doubts. To date little has been achieved, still showing signs of psychosis, depression, lack of memory etc, the only positives we know she cant have one form of medication she is speaking to me a little more...only a little!
Obviously this is testing of our relationship on top of my busy professional life. Friends have been great and YES I have been in regular contact with my GP however sometimes I feel very alone and fighting the system. - I'm becoming a little echo but talking with her treatment team is going to be the best step in understanding what's happening; potentially lots could be achieved that you might not be seeing as it's a positive sign things aren't going downhill but her treatment team will know best and can talk to you more.

Final question do people believe some of the above issues could be resolved by taking her out of the public system and moving her to private? This becomes a possibility in a couple of weeks. - From my understanding and experience it really depends on the hospital as some public hospitals can be more helpful than private and vice versa. If this is a possibility and something you're considering, you could potentially organise a catch-up with the team there and ask them questions to see if they could be a better fit.

Hope this helps!

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