Wife depressed and suffering anxiety need to talk to someone

[Wits_end]

Hi my wife of 14 yrs has had issues with alcohol since her father died 10 yrs ago after my wife's father died she took to drinking a lot of alcohol and would pass out drunk most nights for many years and I never really thought it a problem as I was drunk a lot of the time too.i could drink and enjoy myself where as my wife had become depressed and sad when drinking.

about 6 yrs ago we started trying for a baby and didn't have any luck until we had our 3rd go at Ivf and we now have a beautiful boy who we both love.she drank a lot leading up to the pregnancy where as I had stopped about 4 yrs ago trying to be supportive for her I figured I can't ask her to stop drinking while I still drank plus I didnt enjoy the sensation anymore.when she fell pregnant she stopped drinking and her hormones levelled out and she was the most calmest I had ever known her,usually she has a short fuse and stresses about everything.after the baby was born she went back to drinking but only having one or two a night which she thinks is fine but I want her to only drink on the weekend which has now  caused a rift between us,basically I don't think she is capable of not drinking as she is stressed out most days and needs a drink to cope with life and at times I just want her to address her issues with depression and anxiety which she won't do as she thinks she will be worse on medication,she now feels I am trying to control her by regulating her drinking I just told her if I didn't care about her I would pour her a drink myself.

I love my boy and the thought of not seeing him everyday destroys me but I can't take much more of the abuse and moods and depression in this marriage I'm trying my hardest to focus on everything and remain positive and yet everyday there she is always stressed and negative about most things.she lashes out and accuses me of being perfect which I'm not ,no one is I'm just trying my hardest to make changes but she is always finding a reason not to change for the better even when she admits she has a problem.am I being to hard?is it to much to ask of someone to not drink until the weekend?she only drinks 1 or 2 glasses of wine a night during the week but on the weekend she may finish of 4 bottles because "it's the weekend and that was the deal"I have had one beer in 3 weeks and that was a social thing I'm starting to think maybe I am the one who is wrong in wanting her to stop?help please don't know what to do anymore and it's starting to break me down

[Guest_1055]

Dear Wits end

You sound like such a loving and caring husband, you truly do. My heart goes out to you in your struggles. And I so much care about you and your little family.

I really do not know how to advise you, because I do not know much about drinking problems. But I have read other peoples posts that talk about drinking issues and the affects this has on families. So hopefully someone else will reply to you soon and give you some more help.

Don't give up Wits end, and I don't believe you are being to hard on her. I can see you love your wife. She is blessed to have you.

With love xxx

Shelley anne

[Guest_1055]

Hello Wits end

Just wondering how you are getting along this morning. Hope you are OK.

OK bye now