we need help

[D___J]

Our son is 16 and over the last 18 months has had 3 people commit suicide, last only a few weeks ago. He gets very angry and has smashed holes in doors, tipped furniture over, fights his sister calls me a f old c and his mother a f s, he is very angry and we are at a loss to what to expect next or how to help. Yesterday he was expelled and are concerned he will do something he is drinking and we know is taking drugs. He will not sit and talk as well as wont allow us help him in anyway with counselling. The program he was in was a sports program rather than school and they although pretended to help, have not. He continues to threaten suicide. Does anyone have some advice...

[Chris_B]

Hi D&J,

Thanks for reaching out to us on the beyondblue community forums. 

It sounds like your son is in a very risky situation at the moment.  The threats of suicide need to be taken very seriously, particularly as he is also drinking and taking drugs.  

Phoning the crisis team at your local mental health service would be a very good idea right now, let them know exactly what has been happening as per your post and in particular let them know that your son has been threatening suicide.  

If you need further advice on where to find a contact for your local mental health service, please call our 24/7 support line on 1300 22 4636, they can also give you some good support around making sure that you and his mum don't burn yourselves out during this difficult time.

Things can get better from here, your son has been through a very traumatic period, but it sounds like you're doing your best to support him which is great.

Please let us know how things go.

best

CB

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Online Community Manager

[geoff]

dear D & J, oh boy, how distressing this is for you.

Years ago when I was a young man at 18, alcohol was the go, and now it's drugs, maybe because it's cheaper or more available, I'm not sure, but probably both.

The trouble with kids taking drugs is that it does make them aggressive, and combine this with alcohol and it turns them into a time bomb.

I googled this but you may have already looked at it 'where to get help for adolescence taking drugs combined with alcohol in aus', as I want you to look at the ReachOut.com site, plus there are some other good websites on this page.

You will have trouble getting him to go anywhere for help, because as far as he is concerned he is having a good time, but in reality he is creating chaos, and following on from this is that he has rebelled with the sports program, as he is addicted to these drugs and alcohol.

Can I ask a couple of questions, and I'm sorry to do this, but it just gives us some more data to work on.

I am perturbed as to the number of suicides that have occurred, and were these kids going to the same school as your son, and perhaps these kids were taking drugs as well.

This would be such a big worry for any parent, but I am so pleased that you have contacted this site, and what you are going through is just so terrible for the both of you, plus your daughter, that my heart goes out to you both.

Please have a look at this site I googled, but also there is just so much more to your story, and I only beg for you to reply to us, because the concern for all of us is so great. Geoff.

[D___J]

thanks for the response your information is exactly what we were chasing and will contact the mental health service and go from there..

[D___J]

Hi Geoff, thanks for the information also we will google reach out tonight. with relation to your questions only one went to the same school, the other a friend and one was an adult which he got on well with (family friend) don't believe the other kids were taking drugs, we believe for his part the taking of drugs and drinking is something that is happening from all that has happened. talking to the sports program to see if we can get him back into it and they reverse their decision unfortunately we think he prefers how he s living at present.

thanks for your concerns it is much appreciated 

[Jo3]

Hi D&J

I'm sorry to read the issues you have with your son.  Teenagers can be hard work.  I have 3 children (21,20,17) and at times it's hard work.  

I just wanted to say that I agree with Chris and Geoff in seeking help.  It must be very difficult for you both as parents, but I am sure that with the help and guidance your son will get through his problems.

Just letting you know that I am thinking of you both and wish you all the very best.

Take care and I hope everything works out well for your son.

Jo