Supporting an adult child undiagnosed

[valiant69]

Looking for advice as to how best support an adult male child living at home who is refusing to seek professional help with depression, anxiety and associated anger. 
Has not been able to maintain employment and has become socially isolated. Also refusing to abide by house rules and is verbally abusive but can be reflective at times about behaviour and recognises the need for change but seems to be “stuck”. Any advice appreciated…how do you get help for a family member when any assistance is refused? 

[white knight]

As I eluded however, the domino effect of getting work can be the catalyst to greater things and if motivated can change his views.

So, suggest, pay for, provide a means for him to attend such motivation speeches maybe by a famous person he admires like footballers etc. The other way is to use the internet. The following are two that I feed from to keep me energised-

• Prem Rawat Maharaji    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W3aFh7OJMNA   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MpfuMFsBgNk&t=34s  
• Jordan Peterson   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MwK9OznZ_ww    

Others-

Arnie-  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1bumPyvzCyo

Of course I'm not in your shoes nor know your son, so this direction of assistance might not touch base at all. 

Finally- radical steps. It is my own views formed from a period of deep depression some 27 years ago that included an attempt on my life, that one should pursue any action that results in a change from such a drastic action or thoughts of it. If you work with him (or get a 3rd party) to delve into what could lead to a happier existence then it could unravel the puzzle. Such answers could come like- living alone (even in an old caravan in a van park), seeking voluntary work that could lead to paid work (at least improve his resume) or choosing a career. Even joining the defence service.

I hope I've helped. Repost anytime.

TonyWK 

[geoff]

Hello valiant69, I'm sorry you are caught up in a difficult position especially when anger is present because this makes you very cautious of what you can say and what you can do, so any suggestions are going to ignored or knocked back.

If he is 25 years or younger, then someone from Kids Helpline 1800 55 1800 can come to your house, supposedly as a friend and begin a friendly conversation with him and then advise him what may be appropriate.

If this doesn't happen, then perhaps ask him to pay board, and I only say this because it could make him decide to move out, then how he feels will need to be addressed, one way or another.

Geoff. 

Life Member. 

[valiant69]

Thank for your suggestions ..I will definitely take them onboard and also listen to the motivational links thanks again

[valiant69]

Thank you Geoff I have requested financial contribution as I’m paying rent but it is not forthcoming and I think I need to make hard decision of asking him to leave …that would result in him being homeless as he has no other support …so it’s a hard step to take but I also can’t enable this lifestyle …thank you again, btw he is 31 so it’s hard to find intervention to get the help he needs