Struggling with sisters depression - unsure if my own anxieties, or legitimate concern

[Jane_Loz]

Hi everyone! This is my first post here; but long story short - I'm really struggling with my sisters depression. She is my younger sister, and we have an immensely close bond. However, I have ADHD and mild OCD (making me very intense, emotional and high energy) and during COVID-19 I have also really struggled with anxiety (particularly to do with me worrying about her). My younger sister has had depression for 4 years now, and whilst she (to many) appears to be doing a lot better, I am anxious every day that she is going to do something to harm herself. I'm unsure if this fear is stemming from my own anxieties and obsessive tendencies (particularly because there's been 'suicide clusters' in the area I'm from and it's all over the media so I can't stop thinking about it); and I'm having a hard time working out the right way to give her care and love, but also not smother her when she's having 'off' days. I am nervous that my constant panic, checking in on her and emotional state will make her feel smothered and drained... long story short, I'm struggling to trust that when she says she's fine, that she will actually be okay. Does anyone else struggle with this, when living with someone with mental illness? That constant fear and worry no matter how much reassurance you get from the person. Any advice / personal experiences would be super appreciative.
Thanks 🙂

[Sophie_M]

Hi Jane,

Welcome to the forums! We're so grateful that you have reached out here, we know that it is not an easy thing to do, but it is so important that you have. We're really sorry to hear what you and your sister are going through at the moment, but she sounds very lucky to have such a caring sibling like yourself. Please know that you've come to a safe space to talk about these thoughts and feelings and our wonderful community is here to offer as much support and advice as you need.

If you feel up to it, we'd also recommend getting in touch with our Support Service which is available 24/7 on 1300 22 4636 or you can visit on our website www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport for online chat. One of our friendly counsellors will be able to give you some information and advice to help both yourself and your sister. 

You might also find some helpful advice on our page "Talking to Someone You Are Worried About" https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/have-the-conversation/talking-to-someone-you-are-worried-a...

We hope that a few of our members will pop by soon with some words of wisdom and support, and please feel free to keep checking back in with us to let us know how you are going, whenever you feel up to it.