Some days Im not sure I will find the strength!

[lilley]

Everyday is a challenge , not knowing how my daughter and husband are going to be.Some moments everything is perfect and I feel so elated. It's hard dealing with family members with depression and I'm not sure after everything we have been through , I may have depression also.I become very anxious at times also. But how do three depressed people living under one roof support each other . We have survived through hell and back ,so much has happened to our daughter , abuse, drugs violence ,police , avo's . I always believed in God , well I had faith he would keep her safe , well bad things happened but she is safe now with her family , I'm so blessed for that. it's so hard some days , my well of hope and positivity is empty at times and I fear it will dry up. what will happen then , it scares me.

[gld]

Thank you for sharing your story.

I am a 51 year old female and i have been constantly worrying about my husband's journey through addiction, bipolar, job loss and illnesses that is ongoing.

This has consumed my life for many years and i am always looking at what my husband is doing, why he is doing things and how i can fix it. Some things are out of our control and are not there for us to fix it.

The other week i attended a workshop and something was mentioned there. Look after your own well being and you can not live someone elses journey. While i was there i also realised that to support someone, i needed to learn how to look after my own needs. Another thing that came to light being a fixer is not always a good thing to help someone you are caring for and yourself. 

I will hold some hope for you so you will know there is hope out there for you. 

[geoff]

dear Lilley, hello and thanks for posting your comment and what you have said is a very good question, which Guest has replied to.

So if someone we live with has an addiction or taking drugs there is the possibility that we can help them through it, but it's not easy and always an ongoing fear that they could regress, just as other family members we live with who have depression, then our chances of getting it are high, because everything that we do may 'fall by the wayside', no matter how strong we are.

The important fact as said by Guest is that we need to look after ourselves, because if we are susceptible and on the edge of becoming depressed then we don't have the strength to help other members of the family we live with.

A silly analogy could be if you have a broken leg then how can you help someone on the other side of the torrent river who needs your help, where as if you are in good shape you will find a way to cross the river. Geoff. x