My partner, sorry ex partner, and i both have depression. Mine is anxiety based his is motivational.
When we first got together he was honest about being depressed. Aside from not working or trying to find work it didnt seem to impact his life.
After 6 or so months his parents started pushing for him to find work. He started withdrawing and was very focused on us. He was ALWAYS affectionate so that was nothing new.
We started small. Put together a resume, do some courses and make effort to find work. It was progress. We decided together to go and talk to a doc.
Our doc asked us to do therapy. We both declined. we did try medication. We have difficulty communicating.
About 6 weeks in to the medication i felt disconnected. I started clinging because i was scared. He got more spacey. When i asked about it he said to hug and kiss him when i wanted. He would half hug me. Turn away. There was something wrong. But he kept telling me there wasnt.
We've had issues with housecleaning. I'm a cleaner He isnt. A few weeks ago just beforea family dinner i exploded. And he told me that when i clean i make him want to kill himself (he later put this is context and explained it make him feel worthless and useless).
I realised that by giving him a list of chores was too much. I started to ask him to do a small thing each day. wash the cutlery. fold the clothes.One day i came home and he had made the bed, put the garbage out and i hadn't asked.
We got along better. Were talking again. But i missed the intimacy. Last Wednesday i cracked. I told him it felt like he had put me in the friendzone and i just needed to know if that was how he felt.
He didnt know how he felt and said he wanted to take a few days to work out how he feels about me. We acted the same, getting better. yesterday morning while laying a foot from bed he SMS's me:
Hey. It's been an awesome weekend and I love hanging out with you. It's been nice. Chillin and watching tv. Go karting and last night was awesome. I want to be really good friends and house mates if you want but I can't give you any of the romance or sexual stuff. I'm sorry... And I'm sorry to txt I just can't bring myself to speak
He said he cares about me but he doesnt love me anymore then tried to hug me.
He has asked me to stay in the house if i want. But should i be there to continue to support him through this because i love him even if we are not in a relationship? Or should i leave because he doesn't want me anymore?
