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My Partner Suffers From Depression

Br1sbaneg1rl
Community Member

Hi,

 

My partner and I have been together for 14 months and for at least the last 7 months, it has been an emotional roller coaster.

 

My partner told me within the first 2-3 months that he suffers from depression and he has tried to commit suicide before. 

Over the past 6 months he has bought a new business, a family member has been diagnosed with cancer and he has lost a friend to suicide. 

I really try my hardest to support him, be there for him and look after him but he becomes distant, withdraws, shuts down, ignores me, and treats me as if I’m invisible. 

I am confused at the moment as when I first met him, he was like a different person and it feels like he isn’t who he portrayed in the beginning and I don’t recognise him. 

I guess I have always felt somewhat taken for granted and unappreciated, but the past weeks have been crushing. He told me last week that he wanted me to be more supportive but I don’t know what else I could possibly do. When I asked him, he had nothing to tell me. 

I honestly don’t know what I am supposed to do. Unfortunately, my mental health is now being effected and I feel quite overwhelmed and desperate.

He has told me he use to see a psychologist and has been on medication in the past, however, when I asked him about seeing his psychologist he said no and he knows what he has to do.

 

The roller coaster and ongoing stress is making me sick.

 

What can I do to support him? Any advice appreciated. 

2 Replies 2

Eagle Ray
Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Hi Br1sbaneg1rl,

 

I’m sorry you haven’t had a response to your post. I thought I would check in and just see how you’re going? Have things improved with your husband since last month?

 


I wonder if the recent events of the family member being diagnosed with cancer and losing a friend to suicide have led him to dissociate as a way of coping? With his own history with depression he is possibly easily triggered. Then starting a new business would be an added pressure as well.

 

I can hear how hard it is for you, especially when he says he wants support but won’t tell you how you can support him. I am wondering if just being a consistent presence and gently letting him know you’re aware he’s shutting down and that you love him and are there for him and available to talk if he feels able to may help.

 

Is there some special connection you have an association with like a favourite meal that you and he both love? I’m wondering if there is something you can do to show you care that doesn’t necessarily involve him explaining himself if he’s still unable to at present.

 

Are there some kind things you can do for yourself such as catch up with a good friend you trust who you might be able to talk things through with? You need support as well and I’m wondering if there are other people in your social network, friends or family, you can lean on a bit for support. There’s also the possibility of trying a relationship counsellor/psychologist even if it means going on your own, just to get some ideas and have someone with whom to share what’s happening.

 

I hope things may have gotten better over the past month. Remember to reach out for support for yourself. There’s the Beyond Blue helpline at the bottom of this page too.

 

Take care,

Eagle Ray

Eagle Ray
Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Sorry, I just realised I said husband when I meant partner as you might not be married.