My grandson

[Birdy2022]

Hi i need help , my grandson is 6yrs old very voilent , he is at school, he is physically violent with other children, throws chairs, and much more.

at home very abusive trashes his room, dont sleep, kicks and spits etc.

he is on medication given to people with ADHD, suppended from school today for violent behaviour with other kids.

please any help welcomed .

no one listens 

[Junior1962]

Hi there

I’m really sorry you are having such a hard time with your grandson.

My son, now 32, has autism and ADHD. He could be destructive when he was young but he wasn’t violent. 
Have his parents thought of taking him to a behavioural psychologist?

medication can help - my son still takes it - but it’s only one part of it. 

[white knight]

Hi Birdy, welcome

Every family situation is different and I'm unaware of the structure of yours rg how much involvement you have with your grandchild.

The reason I raise this is that as a grandparent it's vommonly the patents that have the responsibility of tackling their child's ill behaviour.  Bearing yhis in mind can you withdraw a little to assist your own mental well-being?

I'm just concerned you're taking on too much at a time when you could be enjoying life. 

Can you enlighten me?

TonyWK 

[Sophie_M]

Dear Birdy2022,

Thank you for posting here about your struggles with what is going on with your grandson. We are pleased you found the strength to post in our helpful and supportive community.

We have several members who have posted many messages about their individual experiences with ADHD, and we hope that reading what they have to say would be quite helpful for you. ADHD can be quite complicated to work with, so we would like to encourage you to permit yourself to have compassion for you.

We wonder if you are raising your grandson, or are you watching the situation from afar?

Either way, it is important that you prioritise your own mental health and well-being. When you have mental strength and stability, you will have more energy to work with your grandson. To this end, we would like to encourage you to talk with your GP about the possibility of getting a mental health plan so you might be able to get several sessions with a mental health professional who should be able to help you find a better place to work with your grandson.

We would also encourage you to ring our fully trained and experienced counsellors on 1300 22 4636. They should be able to help you find local services in your area which might be able to assist you. You may also call Lifeline on 13 11 14. Both services are available 24 hours per day, every day of the year.

Warm regards,

Sophie M.
 

[Birdy2022]

Yea my son has been fighting for yrs to get my grandson help 

[Birdy2022]

Thankyou for your concern ,but no ive been the stability to my grandson and he needs that .

[Birdy2022]

Thankyou ,my partner and friend are concerned too ,my health is crap,but i cant turn my back on my grandson ,ive taken a few steps back to help with my health .

But i need to help my grandson

[Ggrand]

Hello Dear Birdy2022…

I am so deeply sorry about what’s happening with your grandson and how its a struggle to help for him….I feel sad this is happening to him…and to you..

Does your beautiful grandson have any actives that he enjoys doing..some kind of sport or maybe something that he has an interest in?….Something that will maybe help calm him down when he starts to get violent….I’m just thinking that maybe he needs to express himself in some way….something to give him some self satisfaction…

Dear Birdy2022, I am a grandma as well….and no, we will never turn our backs on our grandchildren, no matter how hard things get…Love is unconditional as you know…..but, It’s so very important that you also care for you…..your mental health…if your unwell it will make it harder to support and help your grandson….Please Birdy, can you reach out to your Dr..and talk to him/her about what’s happening and how it’s impacting on your wellbeing…..Your Dr, might be able to give you some coping strategies for you…or they might be able to set up a mental health care plan for you……having someone outside the family that you could chat to….might give you some relief…just my thoughts dear Birdy….I too am concerned about you…Please try hard to care for yourself as well as your grandson….it’s really very important that you do….

We are all here for you, to help support you as best we can….so please talk here when you feel up to it…

Sending you my kindest thoughts with my care….and a warm comforting hug…(if that’s okay).

Grandy..

[Junior1962]

I’m sorry your son isn’t getting the help that he needs for his grandson. It can be exhausting for parents looking after difficult children. Are there any agencies that can support him? My son is 32 now so I’m out of touch but the Assoc for Children with a Disability was always a good resource. 

[Ggrand]

Hello Dear Birdy…

I hope it’s okay to pop in and do a check in to see how your doing…

I do so much hope that your doing okay and you are taking some time out for yourself….even if it’s 10 minutes to sit outside and rest your mind and body from all the stress your going through…

No pressure to reply…just wanted to let you know I’m here for you if I can be and have been thinking about you with kind thoughts…

Grandy..