My girlfriends anxiety is causing problems for our relationship

[Anonymous_1464]

My girlfriend and I have been together for about 8 months now. Through the entire time my friendship with my sister has caused her anxiety and it has really started to take a toll on our relationship and she’s unsure if she can handle it. I’m 21 years old and still live at home with my parents and sister who is 19. My relationship with my sister is by no means anything unusual and is purely just 2 siblings who get along. My girlfriend worries that I want her to be like my sister, she worries that I tell my sister everything about me and my girlfriends relationship and that I don’t need or want to be with her because of the bond I have with my sister. None of these are true, I love my girlfriend for who she is and have not once wished she was anything like my sister in any way. I’ve never told my sister details about me and my girlfriend’s relationship and I have never felt that I don’t need my girlfriend or that I don’t want to be with her. It is a hard problem to navigate and she understands that it may not make total sense to me but at this point in time I am not willing to give up on our relationship over something that I believe can be overcome.

What tools do I need to assist her moving forward and what are some tools that she will need to be able to understand that my sister is of no threat to our relationship and that I do not compare them in any way?

Thanks

[Anonymous_1464]

I would just like to add, my girlfriend is insecure about the friendship with my sister not necessarily “threatened”. My girlfriend also has little to no relationship with her father and has struggled with family dynamics since her childhood

[TrueSeeker]

Hello

I can see how this is confusing for both of you. There might be a number of scenarios in play. From your girlfriend's experience, family can have a bad and strong influence on people and she might be worried that if your sister doesn't approve of her or doesn't like her, it might influence your relationship.

Maybe showing that your sister is accepting and approving your girlfriend might help. Also reminding that your family will support any relationship that you choose and that she doesn't need to worry about them turning against her and that your family wants you to be happy and they will accept and respect anyone that makes you happy.

It's hard to see what the actual problem is so hopefully this at least made it a bit easier to understand what is going on. I hope that things will work out for both you and you will enjoy happy relationship