Is my partner depressed?

[Ghr29]

Hi everyone!

My partner of 9 years has recently come to me and said he is no longer happy in our relationship. This come as a total shock to myself as we never fight/ argue (sometimes bicker) and things have always been good or so I thought. We have a 3 year old son also.
He is saying he loves me and will always love me and care for me etc but just isn't happy anymore?
He has undiagnosed sleep apnea which he refuses to do anything about so is forever tired.
I feel like this has contributed to how he is feeling but I'm wondering if he could also be depressed? He has lost interest in things he enjoyed doing, everyone around him frustrates him including close friends..
He is going through a stressful situation at work (prior to the covid 19 pandemic) and am wondering if maybe everything has become to much for him and I am taking the brunt of it?
I have suspected that he may have depression for the past few years. Starting with a job that was extremely stressful. Once he resigned from this position he was a different person. Then he slowly slipped back to his old self when our car blew up. He drove a cheap car for a few months and then we got him a new car as he said this was making him down. Once we got the new car things were good again for a little while. Now he is saying that everything he thought was the reason behind his depressed feelings wasn't and that it must be our relationship.
Could he have depression? Or does it sound like maybe our relationship has taken a toll on his mental health?

Sorry I know there are so many parts to my question!!
Thanks!

[jess334]

Hi Ghr29,

It sounds like it's been a difficult time for both of you. It would be very hurtful for your partner to suddenly leave especially when you feel like things have been going well.

Unfortunately I can't answer your question for you. Only a medical professional can diagnose depression. It does sound like he hasn't been very happy lately and not being interested in things you usually enjoy doing could be a sign of depression.

Is your partner receptive to getting an assessment done on his mental health by his general practitioner (gp)?

Maybe you could go to couples counselling? This might help on two fronts, one with your relationship - but also it might encourage him to get real help with his mental health. I think that counselors and psychologists are moving towards telephone appointments right now, but it could still be helpful.

kind thoughts, Jess

[Sophie_M]

Hi Ghr29,

Thanks so much for joining and contributing to our valued online forums community.

We're just going to close this thread and redirect you and your readers to this one: Signs of depression?. This is because the content and themes you raise in both are very similar and we want those reaching out to support you to have the full story and to save you from having to repeat yourself unnecessarily.