Is it a normal thing?

[Sometimes at a loss]

My 14yr old son suffers from severe anxiety and slight depression, this has been ongoing for years. Normally if he is struggling he will come to me for support. We have previously seen psychs, docs etc.

He refuses to see someone again, and he just confessed to me that he is having panic attacks daily, which I was unaware of. He also told me he doesn't wanna see anyone or talk to anyone but himself as no one knows how he feels and no one can help. He also told me that he doesnt want me to care about him, he doesn't want anyone to care.

I'm guessing this is just a load of bs, but I assured him that no matter what he wants that my caring is not optional it will always be there regardless.

I am wondering if this is a normal thing for teenage boys to go through or if anyone has experienced something similar as it has made me worried and upset and I'm not sure how to handle this.

HELP please.

[indigo22]

Hi Sometimes at a loss,

Welcome back, I have just been reading your thread from a few years ago.

I am sorry to hear your son is going through such a difficult time, I can understand how worrying it must be for you.

I read that he was seeing a doctor back in 2018, was he diagnosed at that time? What sort of support was he given? Medication? Counselling? Only asking so I can get a better understanding of what has been done so far to help him. The daily panic attacks are a concern as they will have a negative effect on him physically over time.

I think the most effective thing I can do for you at this moment is to suggest that you call Kids Helpline to discuss the situation with someone in real time. They should be able to offer you some referrals to places in your area to find help for your son. I know he has said he doesn't want to see anyone, but the fact is that he needs some help at the moment and may not have felt comfortable with previous counsellors. Kids Helpline is for children up to the age of 25years and is available 24/7 - 1800 55 1800.

Having said that, we can be here to support you while you are getting support for your son.

Please let me know how you go with the helpline.

Take care of yourself and your son,

indigo

[Sometimes at a loss]

Thanks for replying. He refuses any medication and I guess no formal diagnosises. But all that we have seen have said severe anxiety. We had a 5yr battle with schooling due to the anxiety but now we do online schooling and his attendance is around 97% which is excellent. So that has helped to ease the stressors a bit.

However I do worry about his social interactions as well. Although he does talk to his friends daily and we try and get catch ups in when we can usually during school holidays it is still a concern for me as he gets older.

It also makes it hard for us to cut him off his computer as well, we don't want him to lose those friends and connections he has. But he uses his computer far too much.

It's hard to chose how to disapline him by taking it away (but we have a few times) as to him his computer is his safe place and a place he can use to help calm himself when he is anxious or has the panic attacks.

He used to be really good at coming to me if he felt down or troubled or anxious etc and we use to talk a lot but lately he doesn't want too.

I am thinking part of this is also hormones but doesnt make it any easier.

I will try the kidshelpline when I get a moment to call in quiet to discuss.

I guess I just feel so alone in all this as lately my supports seemed to have disappeared and I am suffering from my own stressors and anxieties. (I do have an appt soon with my psych luckily).

Thanksyou again for your reply.

[WishyBee]

Hi Sometimes at a loss
I agree with Indigo - kids helpline were very supportive when my brother was a teenager(although quite some time ago now).

I am also a mum of boys who love being online.  Rather than take away their computer I ask them to “qualify” for screen time by doing a chore or homework etc.  Physical activity seems to help with my boy’s anxiety, especially sports with other kids or an activity like rock climbing. It’s hard work being a mum, hang in there!

[Sometimes at a loss]

Thankyou. I used kids helpline years ago for myself and they were the best ones to talk too.... hopefully still as good.

Unfortunately he isnt into sports at all never has been. However i might try to get him to go for regular walks with me maybe. Just me snd him without his sister might work.

Thankyou for your kind words.

[Guest_65647035]

You're not alone mumma. I'm here and we must have the same children. My almost 11yo son is exactly the same as your boy right now. We were at hosp last night sent home with valium as he had suicidal ideation. They gave us 1 weeks worth and now I need to find strength to call his camhs worker and demand they sort out a psychiatric review asap. The fear is huge though. I can't even sleep. I hate the physical activity suggestion. We are way beyond that point. Mine is the same. He's barely even enjoying the computer anymore. It's terrifying. I'm so sorry mum. I do agree that he may not want the help but needs it. You might have to go and seek it out for him. Poor guy. Sending you so much love and strength 💪 ❤️