i dont know what to do?

[struggling1974]

my husband has been recently diagnosed with depression but has been suffering for approx 9 months previous. He constantly tells me he loves me and cant live without me but doesn't feel an emotional connection to me or our children. He is scared that he will never get back to his old self and will end up hurting me and the kids. He doesn't enjoy life. he tells me that he doesn't know if is in love with me and only loves me as a friend. This is killing me. I am an emotional wreck but i am trying so hard not to be upset and a crying mess in front of him cos it only adds to his burden. how do i deal with the man i love telling me he may no longer love me ? i cant stop crying and am stressing out all of the time.

[white knight]

Hi Struggling,  welcome here to Beyond Blue forums

I can understand your hurt. But I'd like you to get this into perspective.

Firstly to do this accept that you might never get to "understand" him in this condition. You can see a very recent thread of mine "Depression- ship without a rudder" He might also get benefit out of that and many other threads here you can read up on like "caring for the carer" where he also still has responsibilities to you regardless of his condition. Also there are tips to on threads.

If he no longer loves you he will likely make a move to leave. And that hasnt happened. I would not bring it to a head. Stay calm and focus on his recovery.

Depression usually has cycles. Wait until he is coming out of a cycle before goals are set. Again this and other tips are detailed in threads here.

Regardless of depression or other mental illnesses love is often tested. Hand around, look after him, gain knowledge about his illness and be patient. He might just tell you one day how much he does love you.

We are here to listen and support

Tony WK