My husband & I have been together for almost 20 years. We have three
young children, all under 10. Three years ago, things seemed to change
dramatically (although I think they had been heading that way for quite
some time). Eventually two years ago, ...
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My husband & I have been together for almost 20 years. We have three
young children, all under 10. Three years ago, things seemed to change
dramatically (although I think they had been heading that way for quite
some time). Eventually two years ago, he ended up in hospital and the
doctor diagnosed him with anxiety and gave him medication. The
medication helps, however lately, I'm not sure that it is. I have had
counselling and believe that he is possibly also suffering from
undiagnosed depression. He refuses to get any further help. According to
him the medication works so thats all he needs. If he is having a 'down'
moment, it is always my fault according to him. I try to be as
supportive and caring as possible but it is starting to take its toll.
Twelve months ago, he quit his job as he hated it. I was working but
only one day a week as one of our children was not at school. We made
the decision for me to apply for a position in a town that we have
always wanted to move to. I was lucky enough to win that position and we
both thought that the fresh start would help. My children & I are loving
the move. The job is great, the kids are all going well at school and we
all fit into the community well. Unfortunately, my husband is getting
worse. Apparently that's my fault too. He wanted to be a stay at home
dad - he decided that is what is best for him. Lately he doesnothing
around the house, and blames me and the kids for making his life
miserable and the house a 'pigsty'. Without going into detail, as it
sometimes gets explicit, he constantly verbally abuses me (usually
swearing and calling me names) and has recently started on the kids. I
am at breaking point and just want him gone. My two youngest idolise
him. It makes me upset when I think of leaving him, as I know how upset
they will be. My eldest, however, often comes to me and asks questions
like "why does dad hate us so much" and "why is dad always mean to
you?". That also breaks my heart and supports my decision for him to be
gone. My other fear is that he once told me that before I met him, he
tried to end his life. This was about 25 years ago, but I am worried
that this will happen again. If he succeeds, my children will be left
without their father and I don't know how I would cope with being the
real reason behind him taking that step. I am keen to hear from other
people who may have been in similar situations and how you dealt with
it. I am feeling rather alone and stuck at the moment.beyondblue's
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issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general
supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have
concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service
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