I can't cheer my partner up

[Linnylane]

Hi

This is my first post as I'm lost as to what to do! my partner of 20years moved from the UK to Australia with me 3 years ago, he is younger than me and we don't have any children together, I have a daughter here and 3 granddaughters. We sold our house gave up decent jobs and gave the Australian government all our money for a Visa to live here, I love it, my partner doesn't, he is so miserable, hates his job, hates everything and everybody, he works long hours and starts very early in the morning so is in bed by 9pm. I feel miserable because he is miserable, I'm looking for another job for him, but I don't TV think that will change how he is, he misses his parents and friends. His mum has bipolar and other health issues, his grandma had mental health issues too so I'm wondering if this is the start of the same illness for him. I'm crying all the time and feel that I am getting depressed too, I've considered going back to the UK as a couple and starting again but we would have very little and I'm nearly 60, he doesn't want to go to the doctors, I'm feeling very low and just don't know what to do.

[jeelypiece]

Hi Linnylane

I think I can slightly relate to your situation. I moved to Australia from the UK too when I was only 7. I remember me and my brother being so upset and angry at our parents for taking us away from our family and friends. This and allover homesickness led to our parents deciding it was a mistake and moving back to the UK after a year in Aus. It only took us 8 months to realise that maybe life in Australia was a better choice and would be most beneficial to us in terms of opportunity and quality of life, despite leaving behind everything we knew. Now I was only 7, i can imagine how hard it would be for an older person who has grown so comfortable to living in the UK.

Have you both been back at all for family visits or holidays? My family and I have found that a yearly visit of 3 weeks back home allows us to overcome the homesickness and reassures us that Australia was a good decision for us. Maybe if your partner can visit more often he will begin to gain clarity on what he truly wants. I really hope it works out for both of you, life can be really difficult when you feel stuck between two places.

All the best xx

[Linnylane]

thank you for your reply, things are bad, arguing, sadness, both want different things. Yes my partner went back to the UK in June 2016 for 4 weeks, he had a great time golfing, drinking and being with his friends, when he came back to oz he was depressed and sick, he had 2 weeks off work I'll!!! just don't know what to do anymore, feeling very sad and frustrated xx