Many partners of someone with an undiagnosed mental illness visit this forum.
Many carers of diagnosed sufferers visit also that dont take medication prescribed and/or discontinue with their treatment.
Both these groups decide to reject help. This usually places pressure on the partner, family and friends. Life isnt fair, but it can be unfairer than what it could be.
Why do these people reject treatment?. The common reasons are- medication side effects, attending visits to professional medical people and stigma. There is also...denial!
Medication- I tried 12 meds before I found one that worked for me. Some people try 2 or 3 and thats it. It takes a level of commitment to accomplish a good result. It takes time for meds to work fully then wean off them to try another and so on.
It takes empathy to their carer of their suffering.
With someone in denial, to be fair, they might not have a mental illness. Often partners find them odd in behaviour but that isnt enough to confirm a MI. Its hurtful for anyone to accuse another "you have something wrong with you".
How best to approach denial? Calm, quietly spoken, mentioning that ones behaviour is effecting your relationship. That you dont want the partnership imploding. That you will accompany him/her to the GP for a talk.
I changed doctors once. He asked me what I had. "Bipolar, depression, dysthymia and anxiety..." He looked at my wife and said "how are you coping".
Thats how a good GP assessed it. That he knew how difficult it would be to cope with me.
Denial can be seen as a selfish act, even stubborness. Although this could be true, it isnt helpful to lay such claims in an arguementive way.
Once you have suggested getting help a number of times with a flat refusal, there is one idea I have...go yourself. Attend your GP and discuss the problem. You can attend a counselor to learn how to cope with your partners moods, outbursts, excess sleep, social withdrawal etc.
Your partner will want to know why you are attending. Your answer could be "Im learning to cope with us, living in a relationship where there are serious problems. Under no circumstances should you discuss the discussions between you and your counselor nor mention MI. If he/she wants to contribute they can attend the next appointment. No one can get treatment otherwise.
Unfortunately, denial, in its final form can lead to separation. But, that isnt your doing. The above actions should relieve you of responsibility.
You've done your best
Tony WK
