How to Intervene or Seek Help for Family Member?

[Kamryn_83]

Hi everyone. 
This is my first time posting here, but I think now is the opportune time. My husband (separated under one roof - long story)'s mental health is getting worse and worse. I've been convinced for a long time now that he is beyond a psychologists assistance and really needs a diagnosis from a psychiatrist. Something just isn't right. He is paranoid, delusional, makes weird connections between issues with no basis, quick to anger, no sense of self reflection, struggles to maintain friendships. I have a current DVO against him and his relationship with his daughter is pretty terrible. She doesn't want to be around him, and he tries his best not to involve himself with her either. I could speak about this forever.  He can't speak 2 words to me without abusing me. He can't be around our daughter without him constantly telling you that she will understand when she's older how evil and nasty I am and what a bad person I am. At the core, I think he's jealous that we are as close as we are but he does nothing to really form a good relationship with her. Sometimes it feels like i have 2 kids in the house and he's the big brother. He will call when he is on the rare occasion out with her to 'dob' on her for things she does and blames me for the things she does. And what I mean is asking him to buy her something at the shop. Thats it. She's not a bad or naughty child at all.

A few months ago I started to feel as though he might be neurodivergent which could explain a lot of his issues, but he's now slipping further and further into delusion. It started with intense focus on 60's American politics, then JFK, now it's Robert F Kennedy Jnr and anti vaxx propoganda. I was asking him to take check of his obsessions (started with every single book, podcast, TV show, movie about JFK and now it's anti vaxx propoganda). Now he's moved into the anti vaxx world I have taken more of a stand to question why he's doing this and whether he's getting a balanced perspective, asking where he's getting his sources. I'm really alarmed with his psychological state and think he needs help. What can I do?  Previously I have called Beyond Blue and theyve said you can only call an ambulance in a 'crisis'. Other than leaving him AGAIN (were separated for 2 years) how can I seek help for him? Or is this an impossible situation and I have to live with a paranoid, delusional man forever?

[Sophie_M]

Hey Kamryn_83, 

Welcome to the Forums, and thank you for sharing your story. We’re sorry to hear what you and your daughter are going through with your separated husband.

In a healthy relationship, you should be communicated and treated with respect, so it sounds like it could be useful to have a chat with one of the lovely people at 1800Respect to discuss how your partner has been treating you and your daughter. They're on 1800 737 732, or you can reach them on online chat.  You could also speak to Relationships Australia on 1300 364 277. 

It sounds like it's having an impact on how you're feeling day to day, so please know that there’s always someone here for you to talk it through with. The Beyond Blue counsellors are available 24/7 on 1300 22 4636 or online, here. It's important to be kind to yourself through this, so there's some tips for practicing self-care here.

We’re sure our warm and kind community will spot your post soon and offer their kind words and understanding. Thank you again for your courage and strength in sharing your story here.

Kind regards,

Sophie M