how to help my brother

[Sister_01]

my Brother who is 50 is suffering from depression and has been for a while but will not take medication as he says he is on enough (tackling diabetes) I can tell it is severe and have been trying for a while to get him to go to the Dr. to talk about medication. (We are not very close anymore and I wonder if that is the depression) a few days ago my younger sister called him and he said he was always angry and wanted to hurt someone but said he never would. This is making me worry as I am sure if he is left untreated he is only going to get even worse. Does anyone have any suggestions on how we can convince him things can't progress anymore and to get the help he obviously needs. Both our Parents are deceased our father quite recently. and we are not close enough to our sister in-law to talk to her although I think I should make myself. Any help would be appreciated

[Croix]

Dear Sister 01~

If you have a look around the Forum you will see that sadly there are many in your sort of situation. You love someone who is ill, however they don't wish, for whatever reason, to get treatment. I guess I ought to say at the start that your brother has to decide to get help - and then cooperate and stick with it. Nobody can do that for him.

I'm sorry about your dad's passing, it will have affected everyone and probably will not have helped your brother's mental state.

Does you brother think he has depression or some similar illness? Trying to persuade your bother firstly that he is ill, and secondly he needs to do something about it is hard. If your sister in law is the one he cares about and interacts with on a 24/7 basis I'd think you really do need to talk with her, maybe in company with your younger sister.

She may have her own views on what is happening and what needs to be done. If he is angry a lot, and that is not typical, she may well already be very concerned, and welcome your approaches. For a person to suddenly become a threatening figure can even be frightening.

Is there anyone else he respects and might listen to?

Croix

[Sister_01]

My Brother knows he has depression but is refusing to take medication as he says he is already on too much for treating diabetes.  He will not admit that it is affecting his family but he is only getting worse as time goes on.  I have tried to tell him that depression is not an illness that will correct itself and by ignoring it he will only get worse (which is exactly what is happening).  

[Croix]

Dear Sister 01~

Well if he realizes he has an illness that is a start. I guess many people shy away from medication and if he is on the same sort of insulin setup my late wife was on then it's a pretty taxing sort of thing in itself.

There is no easy answer, perhaps the doctor that monitors his diabetes can be persuaded to discuss the matter with him, or it may be family will have to emphasize he is changing and it is upsetting and hurtful. Sometimes the person really cannot see it for themselves.

This not helped by the fact that medication for depression, anxiety and similar tends to be regarded as coming with side effects and also stigma. All I can say is that I have taken meds for many years, my current regimen has little or no side effects and is reasonably effective. Mind you it took a long time to get there.

What does your sister say?

Croix

[geoff]

Hello Sister, welcome and thanks for posting your comment.

It's lovely that you want to help your brother because it's not easy to do, especially if he is in denial whether this is by admitting he doesn't want to take any medication or refusing to know that it will affect his family.

Can I ask as Croix has said if he has to go back to his doctor to check his diabetes after a blood test.

Best wishes.

Geoff.