How to best help my husband?

[NahiV]

Hello,

My husband who has been diagonsed with paranoid schizophrenia in 2010, has not been taking his medications. To be fair, the anti pyschotic he was prescibred was not really helping him either, as he still had some episodes (some paranoia, never violent but he gets depressed, anxious and paranoid about family members). We live with his family as I dont have a job yet so cant move out at the moment, He stopped taking his medications in July, and so far he's been okay, albeit withdrawn from the rest of the family besides me. He also feels angry sometimes, a bit irrationally and requires lots of space. While I am understanding enough to give him what he needs (he is a bit off with his mum and dad, doesnt communicate much with them as he feels he doesnt have anything to say to them?), his dad gets impatient. Like he is just like "Why cant he act normal?" Umm because he isnt normal?

At the moment my husband isnt seeing a psychiatrist because he doesnt want to be prescribed with medications. He is sweet and loving to me, and loves being with me and is fine as long as I am with him and supporting him. But I just dont know what to do. What can i do to help him? I dont want to appear hostile by suggesting to see a pyschiatrist again, and we are trying to see a psychologist or a therapist to talk to. Somedays he's just spacey and distant, and while I never pressure him to get a job (encourage him to do what he wants to, and focus on his health), his family keep asking me what plans he has for the future. They keep asking me "Has he been good today?" which I find off putting, like him being unwell is him being bad?? His parents are lovely people, but they are not very flexible and get upset whenever my husband isnt acting "normally".

Please help. I just want to be able to get a full time job and afford to move both of us out of here, but until then how do I manage? How can i help my husband?

Thank you.

[white knight]

Hi, welcome

I'm limited in how I can help but I'll try.

My wife had a friend for 22 years with paranoid schizophrenia. For the first 7 years of their close friendship all was stable and she took her medication then she stopped taking them. For the next 15 years all was ok, not as stable but ok

Then it all blew up and her behaviour so bad, actions so extreme etc that their friendships and her marriage failed. By the time her ex friend got to a psychiatrist, prescribed meds and waited until they took effect, the damage was done, not repairable.

For that reason depending on the illness, I dont advocate going off meds without professional direction.

I'm of the view that when you can afford it, move out. It wont work under the roof of his parents house. Their worry levels are a spill over from his younger years.

I hope that helps.

TonyWK

[Doolhof]

Hi NahiV,

It sounds like you have a few issues happening there. I'm wondering if you have a Dr you can talk to who can offer some suggestions on what is best for your husband.

Are you able to find some information about your husband's condition and show that to his family. The more we are aware of a situation, the more we are able to understand what is happening. It may be that his parents do not fully comprehend your husband's condition.

Hopefully you will be able to get an appointment for your husband soon. Is your husband's Dr able to help with recommendations on who to see?

Hope you both find some answers. It is wonderful you have somewhere to live, I can also understand your desire to live separately from your in-laws. In this current situation, are the in-laws home and able to assist your husband if you did go out to work?

Hope you find some answers.

All the best from Dools