Exhuasted carer

[motorhead]

Hi everyone, I am Motohead ( cause im mad about motorcycles). I have been a carer for my wife for 12 years and are absolutley at my wits end with her many varied mental illness's. I have financially supported her for years and can no longer do that. She had a very bad incident last weekend refused to get help so i called in the acute care / police , ambulance. I told them to keep her safe and away from me as i needed time out. The hospital kept her for 2 hours and sent her home for me to deal with again. What are we supposed to do let them kill themseleves and harm themseleves or worse when they threaten us as carers. Its breaking my heart but i am now physically ill and becoming metally ill myself as i get zero support. I would like her to leave but im afraid she will kill herself.

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[white knight]

Hi motorhead, welcome.   I too love bikes.

I'm hesitant to reply too much due to the volatility of your situation.

Firstly the mental health services situation. You have a right to be angry but throughout Australia these services are stretched to the limit- over the limit in fact. Blame the Govts  if you like but all other workers are not at fault. Take things up with your local members of Parliament.

I think it would be good if you got relationship advice. At such meetings you could spill out all the tension issues of caring for your wife. Making her aware of how tough it is but with another person present.

I'm guessing your wife is more on the side of chronically ill. This would likely lead to you developing depression from caring for her. I ask you to step back a little, seek a GP appointment and take up the offer there of 10 free visits to a medical professional that can help you both.

Hope this helps. Hoping also that someone else can write here to.

Tony WK

[Indra]

Hi Motorhead, 

Unlike Tony and yourself - I was thinking more along the lines of the band! 

I am not trying to make light of your situation here - reading what you are going through my heart goes out to you and your wife. Humour can sometimes take the sting out of things for the briefest moment. 

I am glad Tony has reached out and offered some advice. Do you have any family or friends that can give you some respite? I am in full agreement - the health system is frustrating! 

I haven't had experience in what you are going through - but like everyone here - can offer a friendly ear to listen anytime you need to vent. Sometimes knowing that someone is hear to listen and care is a great comfort and support. 

Please take care yourself,

Indra