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When carers feel helpless.

fortoolong
Community Member
Hi. I'm new to the forum. My sixteen year old daughter suffers from PTSD, anxiety, severe clinical depression and eating disorders. She has seen a psychiatrist since she was 8 and for these eight years. her medication has been monitored. At 10 she was diagnosed with complex regional pain syndrome, a nervous system disorder, which affected her leg and hospitalised her for two months. At 14, she was hospitalised for eating disorders for eight weeks. For the last two years, she has had a great deal of time off school. She is also a perfectionist. This is having such a terrible effect on her life, her sisters life and our life,,, her parents. We are doing everything we can to help, paying a fortune for psych bills and medication, yet still she is not improving. We have no extended family support. I am now so sad about it that I just don't know what to do anymore. I just want to have normal for a while. Both my husband and I work full time, our older daughter is at uni and completely over her sister's drama and it's hard for my husband and I to have any time together because our daughter is always so needy. I have seen a doctor about this but would really appreciate hearing from anyone else who has been in this situation and how you handled the juggling, the guilt about your other children and the lack of attention they receive, and your feeling of missing your old self.... Or is it just me? Thanks for listening. 
1 Reply 1

romantic_thi3f
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hi fortoolong,

I'm not a carer but I saw your post and thought I'd chip in a few cents.

Please know that it's really not uncommon to miss your old self and to grieve for the live that you had and your daughter had before you became a carer.  I think that people forget how important it is to recognise how things are different and to grieve for it instead of just pretending we have to accept 'this new normal'.  You're also allowed to be angry, frustrated, sad and lonely.  It sounds cliche but 'feel the feelings' because they are all normal.

One thing I do want to suggest is getting in contact with your local Carers Australia organisation (depending on the state you live in).  They have so much support available including respite, information and support groups and they might even be able to link in with GP's or other organisations that can help you and your daughter.

Take care - and hopefully other people will respond with more personal stories soon.