Help for Partner of someone suffering from Depression

Jorjay · ‎20-08-2015

HI there everyone. First post for me here. I am just looking for some help and guidance. My partner suffers from depression and has been for some time now. We have been together for almost two years and we have a baby on the way due at the end of October. I know that pregnancy can take a big toll on woman and it is not easy. My partner is constantly negative even though I do everything in my power to make her happy. I try to make sure I am at home all the time to look out for her because I know she struggles with a bit of separation anxiety and also when left with her own thoughts they get the better of her sometimes. This girl is my world and I will be proposing to her very soon (I just recently got a ring). She will always give me a hard time when I am away for my sport which is only training once a week and a game on the weekend that she usually comes to. I have decided to not play next year because we will have a new born and I want to spend as much time at home as I can outside of work. I am also trying to work weekends more to provide more for our family and make things a bit easier but I get a hard time about that as well as never being around. Recently we have been fighting more and she is getting frustrated with me very easily and is quite condescending in her tome when speaking to me. I have so much patience and try to understand to the best of my ability what she is going through and accept that she doesn't mean what she says and help her but she constantly pushes me away. She has been treated very badly throughout her life from her childhood to bad relationships with ex partners and her mother and father. I have given her every reason that I am not going anywhere and that I am here to stay and will never abandon her or treat her wrong. I am fully devoted and committed to her. I love our little life and also our baby on the way and what the future holds. She is a stay at home mum as she has two children from a previous relationship that she shares with her ex partner who also gives her a hard time a lot. I try my best to simplify our lives as much as possible and create a stress free environment but she self sabotages herself a lot and creates problems where there doesn't need to be. I just wish she would let go of the past and keep moving forward. I know that all this is hard for someone who suffers from depression. Does it get easier? Is there anything more that I can do to make her believe more? Any help would be greatly appreciated.

geoff · ‎20-08-2015

dear Jorjay, I would like to thank you for giving us the chance to try and help you in this situation.

I would like to congratulate you on the expectation of a new baby soon, as October will arrive very quickly.

It's very commendable for you to stop playing the sport that you love, and I know that this would have been a difficult decision, but you are now wanting to be with your partner especially on the new arrival and before he/she arrives, because it does take a huge commitment by you.

I'm no psychologist, but what you have said seems that your partner is suffering from PTSD, although I not qualified to say, but I suppose that after years of suffering, experience could indicate what she is suffering from, of course I could be way of the mark.

There is a problem which I am really worried about here, and perhaps I'm not allowed to say or comment on, but if I was a friend of yours, I would have no trouble in telling you, so lets think that I am a close friend, in which I would tell you, that I am worried that she could get PND, only because I do believe that her PTSD is going to cause her to be depressed, and being a friend you could tell me off and disregard everything I have said.

She has 2 other children and one on the way, and from what you have said she appears to be stressed out, and I know that you are trying your best to help her, but I believe that it would be a good idea to see her doctor, and I know that she would be seeing her Obstetrician and/or Gynecologist but perhaps she could visit her doctor.

I hope that you could get back to us. Geoff.