Depressed sibling, with drug and alcohol problems. How can I help him?

ProfessionalDreamer · ‎06-09-2017

In a nutshell, my brother has become severely mentally unwell due to drug, alcohol and gambling addictions. We (family) have tried and tried to help him over the last 15 years. He almost signed himself into a pych ward 2 years ago when i stopped him from trying to end his life. He says he doesn't want help and I can't help someone who doesn't want help anymore. But he is tearing out family apart. He is now showing aggression and im worried for the safety of those around him. Please help, can I have him committed? Or does he need to do it himself? What can I do?

BballJ · ‎06-09-2017

Hi ProfessionalDreamer,

Firstly, welcome to the forums.

Sorry to read what your brother is and has gone through. I have read many posts on these forums about people seeking help for family members and it is one of those tough things to give advice on at times because in reality, the person who is suffering, needs to want the help and recognise there is a problem. I am not sure how the law works and if you can have him committed to hospital, I am hoping someone will comment with a bit more knowledge of that for you.

I just wanted to give some general advice which may help, you can call the Beyond Blue helpline on 1300 22 4636, they are open 24/7 and are trained professionals who may be able to give you more in depth information about what you can do for your brother. You may also want to read the section we have on the forums about supporting someone who is suffering from a mental illness, simply go to the top of the page called "The facts" and go down to the supporting someone section and have a read of that section which may also provide some insight on what you can do to help your brother.

I think in these scenarios, you just need to keep being there for him and supporting him and letting him know he is cared about.

My best for you and your brother,

Jay

ProfessionalDreamer · ‎07-09-2017

Thanks Jay. I appreciate that alot

geoff · ‎07-09-2017

hello ProfessionalDreamer, you're right, you can't help somebody who doesn't want help, but if he goes that extra distance then he can be committed by his doctor, if he has one, or you could ring the police where he will be admitted under the health act, however this is only a temporary solution, just as being admitted into a rehab, which does have a long waiting period and maybe too expensive.
The same situation happens, he may benefit from being in there, but it depends on how strong he feels when he is released, unfortunately people reunite with their old mates and the cycle begins again.
It's an enormous effort you and your family have done to try and help him and doing this for 15 years is a long time, where I'm sure all of you must be exhausted.
I'm not sure whether he lives with you, I really hope not and excuse me for saying that, because his continual demand for money would be atrocious to feed these three addictions where there is no limit to how much he wants.
Over 15 years you feel as though you have exhausted all avenues, so your choices would have run out by now, so if you get him committed then you and your family have take a break.
These three addictions can't really be separated, one leads onto the other, and awhile ago I was looking after an elderly chap who had a son exactly the same, where he stole money from his dad and was someone his dad wanted to help, the only reason it stopped was because his dad was admitted into a nursing home.
I am really so sorry that you have to cope with this, but please get back as there are other issues I'm sure you want to talk about. Geoff.

BlueSkyDreams · ‎13-09-2017

Hi ProfessionalDreamer

Sorry to hear about what you're going through... I'm not sure what state you're in but every State and Territory has publicly funded drug and alcohol services and most provide free support for families as well as the person using drugs/alcohol.

There are also some great websites with more information and support for families - www.thefirststop.org.au has lots of tips, information and ways to cope. Family Drug Support and Family Drug Help are good too.

I wish you all the best,

BlueSkyDreams