Hi MumPlus3 (love the name),
I really am sorry to read your post but I am glad you did take the first step towards a resolution by writing it. You do have a lot to contend with but perhaps we can come up with an approach that's probably going to make it all seem no quite so hopeless.
I would suggest first and foremost you focus on getting your relationship back on track. Try to find a way to shut everything else out of the way. I appreciate that may not be easy but until you have that common ground with your husband and (more importantly) mutual respect, it will be very difficult to resolve anything.
Right now you can be sure of a few conditions that exist. 1) You are trying desperately to fix relationships with your husband, your son and at the same time juggle what remaining time you have with your other 2 children. Anything left over from all that is obviously devoted to running the house. 2) Your husband does not see any of this.
I'm not going to go into the issues of depression and medication, but I believe you'll agree that if your both on the same page and in the same bed, you have a chance to start building again. Now this is the best part; if you agree that your priorities have now all changed to just your relationship, you will find your energy will rise and you may be pleasantly surprised to find that you can re-kindle a relationship.
Get the babysitter, organise a bit of time to yourselves (perhaps a night away in the city) and give whatever originally blossomed between you to re-grow. Then you can start on number 2 but you won't be alone.
Mike
