Dealing with wife and daughter

[Dosa]

I’m currently dealing with potential mental health issues with both my wife and daughter. My daughter (8) has had a major change in her behaviour since late last year which has included mood changes, crying uncontrollably for hours, not wanting to sleep, not wanting to go to school or any extra curricular activities. She has gotten so bad now that she has not been to school this week and completely changes her mood every time we mention it. We have been trying to coax some answers from her as to why she doesn’t want to go to school and on Monday my wife had what we thought was a breakthrough in that my daughter told her that one of the reasons why she was sad/angry was due to being forced to do a dance class and concert when she really didn’t want to because she was scared and was being told off by the instructor. Also believe the other kids may have been teasing her as well. My wife called me at work on Monday morning to tell me me what she had said and was absolutely beside herself, struggling to breathe and just really upset. I came straight home and we just sat with our daughter who was fine again and very happy to sit with mum. My wife spent most of the day crying and said that this had triggered her in relation to her childhood but didn’t elaborate. (She has previously told me there was some sexual abuse when she was younger). Everything calmed down over the day and I offered to stay home the next day but my wife thought it would be ok and suggested that I go back to work on Tuesday. On Tuesday morning I got a very similar phone call from my wife saying that my daughter was saying some terrible things to her and she was struggling to handle it. I returned home straight away and found my daughter in a normal happy mood and my wife absolutely beside herself again. I have since been able to work from home, which I think is the right thing to do for both my wife and daughter but now I’m not sure I can work with our situation as it is. We have got my daughter in to see a psychologist and she has had one session and isn’t booked in again for another two weeks. She seems to have escalated and now refuses to go to school and I don’t know how to deal with that. My wife has also seemed to get worse and is showing signs of depression or something like that and I am struggling to deal with that as well. To be honest I don’t know where to start 

[Sophie_M]

Hi Dosa,  Thank you for sharing this here. We hope you have found some comfort in the kindness and understanding of our lovely community members. We’re sure we’ll hear more from them.   It sounds like you are a really caring and supportive parent and partner. It’s so important, that while caring for your child and wife, you are aware of your own emotional wellbeing. Please remember to reach out any time you feel you are struggling, to the Beyond Blue helpline on 1300 22 4636, or you can reach our counsellors via webchat, here.   Your child and wife are, of course, always welcome to contact us too, or there’s our friends at Lifeline on 13 11 14. We can hear it might be hard to encourage them to do so, but we are here all the same. The Black Dog institute also has some support groups you could look at by selecting your state from the options, here, if that seems like a suggestion he might be more open to.   Please continue to share here, whenever you feel comfortable. You never know how your story might help others who can relate to what you’re going through.    Kind regards,  Sophie M