Hello JL, I can not express enough how awful this thought is and understand exactly how you are feeling and so sorry anyone of us aren't able to be with you, that way we can be face to face and get to know your circumstances.
It is difficult to try and hide your feelings but once you've been in the same situation then it's possible to notice if someone has these thoughts, not all the time, I'm sorry to say, but you can notice their general mood and how they do respond to any suggestions, this still doesn't make you want to open up, the best part is that many on this site have felt like this, either before and/or now and aware of any intentions which we then act on as best as we can via computer.
The main problem when you ring any of these helplines is that you speak to another person each time and have to start from the beginning every time, wheres online it's written down for us to revitalise the previous notes.
When you feel like this it might be difficult for you to begin the discussion, believe me that's quite understandable, so please if you want to, take your time and there maybe tears, only wish we could hand you a tissue, but we are here to try and help as best as we can.
Take care.
Geoff.
