??? Whats wrong

[Guest_4593]

Feeling nothing, im stepping out my comfort zone, taking risks. Trying to feel something but nothing i dont feel happy, joy no sense of excitement or fear.. just feel alone and sad and cry alot.

I was asked why i self harmed i said i dont know . And i dont really understand why i do. But thinking now hey its something to feel...
I have to wake up every morning and (GET UP) i have responsibilities like everyone and i have to pretend to everyone that im ok . Work cant have me half there id lose my job.. family annoys me to much for me to have them realise im not ok . So its all fake and pretend all day.. i have about 3 people who i can say im not ok 2 ..but this is been going on so long even i wanna leave and ignore myself. Im uncomfortable talking out loud or to professionals im not sure i will get help but i do think ill lose the 3 people i do have very soon . Maybe just need to pretend with them aswell but im drowning suffocating in myself and this sense of emptiness is so overwhelming i just come undone every night when im alone in my room

[Guest_4593]

Thanks em ill gladly join ur self care forum.

Smallwolf, thank u

im not sure how this all works i read and see everyone post feelings and vent, i have learned that u need to be careful what u post and that the forum is more a ear than a mouth which is good I know i hang on here for a ear and to read and listen to everyone else..

I have just been struggling so much and also experiencing so many different emotions that come on so quickly and even tho i have always been a bit of a grump. Its all very scary and confusing to me because in this year i have had multiple (mental health challenges) and its scary, im still young and i do come from a family of a lot of problems and i just didn't think i would be here with these problems... but then i say to my self id give a $1 to anyone who doesn't hate 2020 its a horrible year for everyone..

I don't know if ur all looking for Pacific traumatic stories to understand me or triggers that send me off, and im not sure i wanna lay them all out . But i do appreciate what everyone does here on bb . And i can appreciate the strength it must take to have been through a lot yourselves and have to try and understand and respond to people here that are at there worse and sometimes just don't make sense.. thanks all

[smallwolf]

if it makes you feel better with writing things down in the forum here, please do. I consider this a good place to journal between sessions as you also get responses from other people as well. There is a line (not that I have found it yet) on how much to post but if you don't go into too much detail and can still convey the meaning, users will have an understanding. We are all here to support each other.

As for what you write, it does not matter where you start. I sometimes feel sorry for my psychologist as I generally start in the middle of a story and then work my way backwards.

Stay safe and be kind to yourself,

Tim

[Guest_4593]

Miserable just miserable

[Guest_4593]

Go go go.go ..just go

[Ggrand]

Hello Guest_4593..,

I am calling in to ask RUOK?..

Your last 2 posts seems like you are not...

Do you want to talk here...about anything you want to talk about..

Im quietly sitting next you listening to you if you feel up to talking, venting etc..

My care and kind thoughts dear Guest_4593??

Grandy

[Guest_4593]

Yeah thanks not great today and im in trouble at work now because i came in smelling of alcohol.. oops

[Ggrand]

Dear Guest..

Im sorry that your in trouble at work due to smelling of alcohol....The little oops on the ends..seems to tell me that you shouldn’t have arrived at work with alcohol in your system...

I don’t drink and don’t understand much about the effects it has on people..I do smoke though and I’m thinking it’s the same a habit that is hard to stop...No judgement at all Guest..only my concern for you and your health...only want the best for you...

Please feel free to talk if you feel up to it..

My care, understanding and kind thoughts Dear Guest.

Grandy..

[Guest_4593]

Dont need intervention . But life just sucks i give the support cant get any in return and understandable because everyones life sucks everyone (dealing ) with life problems, quess it helps when you have family and friends but it shows who the hell is happy and why bother .does it even get better is there even any point to the endless cycle of misery, loss and disappointment.. when does the positive kick in

[Sophie_M]

Hi Guest_4593,

We're so sorry to hear you're feeling this way at the moment. We hope that you're feeling a bit better since you posted. Please know that you are not alone in this.

You might find some inspiration in some of the Beyond Blue resources:

• "Personal stories" - https://www.beyondblue.org.au/who-does-it-affect/personal-stories
• "Journey to wellness" -
  https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/staying-well/journey-to-wellness

And remember that in overwhelming moments you can get in touch with our friends at Lifeline (13 11 14) or the Suicide Call Back Service (1300 659 467).

Please feel free to keep reaching out here whenever you feel up to it.

[Guest_4593]

I have been this way for 6 months now 6 months and i get to feel it every day. But if a friend needs help im there , work im there (in trouble lately but im there .) Babysitting 3 days a week im there . I want help.. hey we all have problems... and nobody wants to hangout with someone that passes out, blacks out and has seizures on them. But hell i would