Hi, welcome
Thankyou for being brave enough to post this real problem. What you've described is tough to overcome so I hope I can give you some tools to make that easier.
You attend school to learn right? but other factors of school can dominate your mind to the point whereby your grades slip not because you havent got the ability to do better but your main focus is on other issues like friends and family. If those things were eliminated you'd do better I'm certain.
But how can we eliminate things like a divided family and friends that can do harm with their bullying? This is the secret to both issues-
1. Never worry about the things you have no control over
2. Focus on people that are like minded
3. Combat intrusive thoughts
4. Use your maturity to guide yourself
So no one even this old guy can stop others from talking ill about them. In some ways its human nature how they condemn us. It's a way of elevating themselves to impress others. Sadly if you drift away your presence then someone else will be in their focus not you so you cannot stop this behaviour... stop worrying about "what if"
Find other friends, often in your case older than you or at least more mature. You are better than them if you dont react, ignore them when they are cruel but if you can say "Hi Mary" when they pass you in school or the street, it doesnt matter if they dont reply or whatever their reply is... master that and you will reduce enemies because as individuals they will likely say hello back.
"What ifs" are intrusive thoughts. Most people that have these are sensitive empathetic loving people and that means you are a good person. Those values should be seen by you as an asset not as self criticism. So say you are studying at home and you think about what these "friends" are saying about you, stand up and walk around the block or even play with a pet. You'll be amazed what distraction can do.
Being mature can benefit you, for example if one of these bullies talks to you alone about these "friends" just say "I dont hold any grudges and I dont like talking about other people... anyway how is your tennis going".. a change of subject in a smooth way helps. Also that person cant return to their group and claim you rubbished them. This "defusing" of the conflict can work wonders because you dont supply fuel to them.
As for thoughts of being assaulted try to always be around other people and make the school aware of your fears. They might not do anything but will be on the look out.
Life will throw a curveball at you all the time, how you react is the key, what you focus on is important and worry is non productive. I've got a thread below that might help you, just read the first page.
https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/worry-worry-worry/td-p/87808
"The problem of lowering our standards to be level with bullies and violent people is that they should raise their to be level with us if they want to be in our lives" TonyWK
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TonyWK
